Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
Today, I was forced to come in to work early in the morning. For me, that means I will have a pounding migraine, vomiting, and diarrhea for at least the next two weeks. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML
Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML
Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML
Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML
Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML
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Top comments
EpicSquishii 21
I'd get a doctors note if I were you. Just to be sure your boss knows that it's legit. Hope you feel better, OP. Try and stay hydrated.
KatieMajestic 17
You jinxed it.
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Comments (77)
xXAlexIsGamingXx 1
**Face palm**
laden_swallow09 35
JINX!
intruder75 2
you're shit out of luck...
AsianBomb_xo 10
TMI. I hope you feel better, though. ^^)
naiveprophet 15
That's happened to me before. I was joking with my staff pharmacists for months that I was going to break my arm while they were both on new-parent leave, as their babies were due within a week of each other and we would have nothing but float pharmacists for two weeks while our male pharmacist took vacation time. Friday came, the male pharmacist's wife went into labor and his vacation started. On Sunday, our female pharmacist was induced. On Monday, I slipped on the ice and broke my foot on my way into work.
diarheea101 11
If she doesn't believe you, drive to work, then puke on her "accidentally" and say "I told you!"
AnimeRules1125 24
The irony! That sucks, hopefully he believed you and it will be a joke to tell to friends!
photogfrog 13
You never joke about shit like that, because the universe always hears you!
LizReszke 11
You jinxed yourself. Get a doctors note or something to prove it.
charcharthunder 18
anybody tell you the story of the boy who cried wolf?