Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
Today, I was forced to come in to work early in the morning. For me, that means I will have a pounding migraine, vomiting, and diarrhea for at least the next two weeks. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML
Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML
Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML
Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML
Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML
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Top comments
EpicSquishii 21
I'd get a doctors note if I were you. Just to be sure your boss knows that it's legit. Hope you feel better, OP. Try and stay hydrated.
KatieMajestic 17
You jinxed it.
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Comments (77)
chargerrchick 3
If they're joking with their boss about calling in sick, I highly doubt that they hate their job or the people they work with. It could be that they have a bigger customer count on Sundays, or something related, and no one enjoys working Sundays. Hence the joking. To their boss. About calling in. To their boss. *hinthint
150493x 29
Talk about bad timing. Probably best to get a medical certificate to prove you were really ill. Feel better!
rakooligan 11
Email some photos across if your boss doesn't believe you.
stevothedevo 25
The girl who cried wolf..
perdix 31
Tell your boss that your grandmother died -- just don't say she died of food poisoning. ;)
starile 20
"Wait didn't your grandmother die last week?" "Um, did I say grandma? I meant mom this time. Not off food poisoning. Yeah."
bingbongbingbong 11
I hope you shit your self
Trish01 23
#17, there's an article about why yuppies are unhappy which I tend to agree with somewhat. It says that the generation from the great depression and world war 2 tends to place more importance on job security and economic independence and they worked hard to achieve that and are happy. They wanted their kids to dream bigger and told them they're special and can do anything they want. The kids in turn unrealistically think that each of them really is special and expect to succeed greatly compared to others, in a short period of time, without putting in decades of hard work like their predecessors. You seem to be like this. Logically, not everybody can get the job of their dreams.
InterArmy22 2
o the irony
airhead2015 18
Just show up, then whenever diarrhea strokes, go to the bathroom. Your boss will notice and you can explain it ans probably go home. At my job, my managers will send you home if they notice you're remotely sick (cause I work with food though). Hope you feel better OP!
Perdition25 12
Currently there are 1422 people with half a brain.