Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my little sister was rhyming words with "truck." When she came to "fuck", I told her never to say that word again because it was bad. She ran around the house screaming it. I'm in trouble for being "a bad influence." FML
Today, my 7-year-old sister had to tell my mom to watch her language. FML
Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
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Top comments
brownie3333 4
At least it rhymes...
hippodankamus 22
Watch her grow up to be the greatest rapper of all time
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Comments (44)
princesstavi 17
Hey at least you have a new angry word formed here . If you stub your toe just do "Shit fuckle buckle ton !!"
captainsmegma 12
Shit rhymes with clit not buckle fuckle or ton.
HairIsEverything 15
"Shit fuckle buckle clit"?
PSYqualiac 17
Shuckle wants to fuckle.
sabbyheartswhat 23
Am I the only one thinking it should've been, "shit, buckle, ton, fuckle." That way it would rhyme better. Boyfriend was just trying to teach her to swear. Which kids swearing is kind of adorable. My godniece when she was about 3 knew what a frog was but couldn't really say it. And my sister had a frog air fresher in the back window of her car. So we're riding along and out of the back seat we hear the cutest, "****!" I spin around and ask her what she said. "****! A ****!" Now we're both trying to figure out why or what she's saying and I see her pointing to the little frog. Oh man, good times. :) We tried desperately to correct her pronunciation of frog. But it still kept coming out ****. I wish camera phones were bigger back then. It would've made an adorable vine.
Ichiya 29
Vines all suck.
yerawizardlizzy 27
I just saw a video earlier today of a kid saying "****" instead of "frog." It was pretty funny.
qdawg06 23
What does that even mean?
randomname98 22
Sounds like your boyfriend is in a "shit buckle fuckle ton" of trouble!
buckdharma 38
Shit, Buckle, and Fuckleton, represented clients who have a son, whose **** grew tall from Risperdal. They made plaster casts of what amassed, making jurors award claims that were unsurpassed while aghast at the Gynecomastia.
Shade1982 21
I think you just won the internet :P.
brandoneyez1 25
Fun to say... And I just told my wife in front of my kid.
worldclassrager 41
Maybe a song would be better...
jessyrose160 7
I don't know really why but this made me cry with laughter