Today, I've come to the conclusion that the best way to remember when my wife of 17 years and I last got intimate was to remember which American president was in power at the time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's been so long since my fiancé and I have had sex I now apparently have dreams about all-night unprotected screwing marathons with George Bush. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML
Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML
Today, it's the sixth anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML
Today, I’m married to a man who thought Trump had several good ideas but just went about it the wrong way, but he’s sure he’ll do better next time when he takes the White House back from Biden. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea for me and my colleague to fuck in the bathroom that no one uses. Turns out, the president of the company, who was here for a visit, had picked the perfect day to use it. Now we’re jobless and potentially spouseless. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Do you call those the Bush years? I'll bet you were sad that Jeb collapsed in 2016.
mike3775 39
Them W years were good to you.
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Comments (3)
mike3775 39
Them W years were good to you.
RichardPencil 32
Do you call those the Bush years? I'll bet you were sad that Jeb collapsed in 2016.
poopface82 25
Wow, that sucks. Especially if the answer was anything other than Biden.