Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
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Top comments
mario2012 18
Nice girlfriend you have there. She could have at least said you didn't do anything.
mikbrooke 25
#31 - none of that FML says anything about sleeping there. how is tickling each other something they should not be doing until they move out, or have to go out to do? it is fun - not a bad thing. the only bad thing is that the girlfriend didnt bother telling the father it was an accident. so please shut up. your comment was ridiculous.
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Comments (184)
King_George_III 4
And this is why I hate most people. They're too quick to judgement, and they don't speak up when something that can easily be prevented happens.
Alikia96 20
I love a good rough tickling.
jweb1434 6
Time to find a new gf! And press charges against the father! That's ridiculous
Muttley9 13
Maybe she was just stunned by the fall and then her Dad's actions. If after asking her view of things there is no satisfactory answer, say goodbye for good to her.
yungjohns 10
**** dat bitch. Id leave her in a heart be then come back wit a bat nd beat the hell outa the dad house and cars. Fts
j_cat187 20
What the hell?
JoseIsAdork 31
well, in ops girlfriends fathers defense, tickling should be saved til marriage. one of those sacred bonds. you shouldn't just tickle anyone and everyone you can get your hands on.
JFlask 1
if she couldn't defend you and just let you get beat by her father. leave her.
goth_pixie 15
Remember that teenager post quote? "If you tickle me I'm not responsible for what happens to your face."
Flashman9000 9
Leave her, find someone better.
XSimpleDesignX 18
#31 nothing indicates that they were sleeping over. As I read it I was thinking they were teenagers. Tickling someone is not inappropriate in any way. Accidents happen all the time. Also he are you looking down on people who live with their parents without knowing any details? People fall on hard times, and passing judgment does nothing to help their situation. For all you know her mother is sick, and she takes care of her while her father works. Maybe she's in college? The point is why does it ******* matter that she lives there? It has little to do with the FML.