Today, my mother said I'm slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution? Buying me a vibrator. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML
Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. - Mom and Dad." FML
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Top comments
chell1894 13
I like it!
saIty 17
Just stick a picture of him on your little friend. Use it well young Jedi.
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Comments (190)
Silly_Canuck 5
Go Mom!!!
SenGaeriel 3
I just moved from Fresno. Dump the guy and take the vibrator. If he wants to be in Fresno, then he's got the problem.
bibobobonnor 8
oh yes #157 dump he's the bad guy for wanting an education, I mean it might be smart to end the relationship because long distance is hard to make work, but the way you worded, made the guy sound evil or something
bizarre_ftw 22
I like your mum! ^_^ All the same that is a bitt uncomfortable. I feel sorry for you about that :/
WhiteAsNoise3 2
And you're complaining? A vibrator is an awesome gift!
Njtorres 0
With batteries included?
nissanvq35 4
Smart mom
HomeAl0ne 20
"Here honey, slip this deep into your depression, it will do wonders."
zomohobo 0
that's a bit awkward.... on a side note, where in Fresno?
justme0003 6
a very supportive mom..kewl
ERTH_fml 0
I'm from Fresno :) Bt who the hell wants to move here?