Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish byproduct. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML
Today, I came home from work and found that my son had taken every single one of his toys out and left them on the floor. Plus some goldfish crackers. FML
Today, my dad decided to make home-made popcorn. He accidentally used old fish oil instead of mazola oil. Now the house reeks of fish and we can't even throw the popcorn out for fear of attracting wild animals. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML
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Top comments
alice_in_mordor 21
Too bad this didn't happen in time for Easter.
Cashtangoteam 10
At least the dog isn't dead.
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Comments (131)
ardencred 7
Follow the yellow brick turd and you will find happiness
whinthy 18
Taste the rainbow.
chinagirl3343 8
Vet!!!! Take him to the vet!!!!!! Ack, poor silly doggie.
jcrb 11
hehe, a dog with the rainbow *****!
HeartOfLead 24
I would have yell-owed so loud at my dog for doing this. At least can relate to a certain lady who came back from vacation.
chuckcloninger 12
I'm glad it's not me but I have to say that's one of the funniest things I've heard (and imagined) in quite a while. Think ill laugh myself to sleep now.
HomoIndomitus 4
Airsoft is bettah
ajh557 22
I enjoy airsoft but I hate you idiots that try to start arguements over which is better there both completly different
HawkwindFan2016 8
Now does he shoot his poo out at 50 miles an hour or something?
Satoaoi 13
dogs like to go paint balling to . guess without hands there forced to Use there butts: )
Bemilu 4
A responcible dog owner would take their dog to the vet.
Supganosh 2
Responsible*. And they don't need to specify what they did AFTER their dog pooped yellow everywhere. Also, paintballs are non-toxic, so the most they would need is a call to their vet to be sure