Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML
Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML
Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML
Today, I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom with my husband, so I set up some Halloween torches to create a wild ambiance. Unfortunately our dickhead neighbours saw the glow, didn't remember that fire tends to give off smoke, and called the fire department on us. FML
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, I almost burned the house down while changing a lightbulb. FML
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML
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Top comments
skullcandifiedDJ 5
That's hot...
The_Creeper_fml 8
Lamps can be very sexual. Fetishes fetishes fetishes...
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Comments (65)
isis_morrigan 18
Well, that's one way to fire up your sex life...
theMelimda 3
Sometimes I wish there was a "like" button on these things. This made me laugh.
fsamslife92 8
There's a favorite button.
soupisyummy 13
No. **** you, Facebook. **** YOU.
boopityboppity 11
Incidentally, there is a "Like" button on FMLs. If you visit the non-mobile version of the website, the aforementioned button is visible on the bottom right of each FML, just to the left of the Twitter icon. Hope I was of service.
est000dog 11
a) clean your room b) get lamps that don't heat up, I reccomend Leds
fsamslife92 8
I love it when people word their FML creatively.
MrRuffyboots 0
Kinky.
KiddNYC1O 22
I said "Baby, what's your number?" she said "9-1-1"! Role play.
SoSolidSingh 2
Wooooah my sex is on fire!
Rdog4501 0
Hey, you guys found the spark.in your relationship again!
subversivefreak 2
In the bedroom, your lamp caught on fire? I'm sure there is a euphemism here somewhere..
OuchCharlay 0
Too much friction, stop trying to get the genie out.