Today, I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom with my husband, so I set up some Halloween torches to create a wild ambiance. Unfortunately our dickhead neighbours saw the glow, didn't remember that fire tends to give off smoke, and called the fire department on us. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
Today, I bought a Halloween fog machine to make my front yard look spooky. I didn’t realize it would set off my house's fire alarm when I tested it before putting it on the front porch. I ended up outside in full costume while firefighters checked my “haunted” house. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML
Today, my neighbour from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said, "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML
Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML
Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting up mosquito repellents. FML
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Top comments
extremereviews 26
At least you know your neighbors care about you
tigerisabelle 31
You're pissed cause it ruined the romantic atmosphere, but at least if there ever was a fire, you'd be safe. I don't think they did anything wrong, how were they to know you were lighting torches?
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Comments (103)
extremereviews 26
At least you know your neighbors care about you
XxDevilxXGt 26
Being cared for doesn't help when it's done by idiots. Next thing... neighbors call cops when OP is yelling during sex because they think she is getting murdered? Some people are terrible at being good samaritans
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
Or maybe you're just taking this the wrong way and OP's neighbors really do care about him/her. You'd call the fire department too if you saw some bodies house on fire. Now wouldn't you?
RedPillSucks 33
Exactly. Chances are this was at night, so some might not have been visible. The neighbor did the right thing.
miianah1 22
OP's being a blue-balled, cranky bitch. Yeah, what they did was a bit tactless and impulsive but now she knows if there's a real emergency, they're there for her. Calling them "dickheads" was completely unwarranted. Lay off and be more appreciative next time.
miianah1 22
I agree. OP's being a blue-balled, cranky bitch. Sure, the neighbors were a bit tactless and impulsive, but if there were a real emergency, they'd be there for her. Calling them "dickheads" was completely unwarranted. She needs to lay off and learn to be more appreciative.
XxDevilxXGt 26
I know that if I were to see a glowing light INSIDE my neighbor's house without knowing what it is, I wouldn't immediately assume the worst and call the police? I would first call them or really fast go see what it could be. and if it was a real fire I would be there way quicker than the fire department so I could be way more effective.
Onyxdragon 9
Trust me, professional firefighters are much more useful than an average citizen.
SkyGuy32 17
In addition to it likely being night, smoke isn't always visible on the exterior of structure fires. Many times, the majority of smoke is trapped inside. In these scenarios, the smoke is also very deadly.
JaffaMC 13
Things really got hot in there
devildog562 33
The roof the roof the roof is on fire!
BasedComment 15
Beat me to it.
xnikkilynn 11
"It's getting hot and here..." Hopefully OP didn't take off all her clothes before others showed up to join the party!
s3kShUn47 20
So did the firefighters knock before coming in? Or did they kick down the door and look at you in awe..?
sayyestothedress 24
Either one is an awkward situation
devildog562 33
Why does that sound like a ****... *kicks in door* "Ma'am, we have this hose to put your fire out." "Oh really, but it's going to get all wet."
Kazze 31
They misunderstood you when you said things were gonna get "hot" in the bedroom that night.
tigerisabelle 31
You're pissed cause it ruined the romantic atmosphere, but at least if there ever was a fire, you'd be safe. I don't think they did anything wrong, how were they to know you were lighting torches?
s3kShUn47 20
There was no smoke. But then again, it would take a little bit for the smoke to start exiting out of doors/windows
Echoa21 18
Not to mention the smoke wouldn't be very visible at night
ostfaiz 18
who is going to wait until the smoke appears?
Brandi_Faith 34
I completely agree. The Op should be thankful that the neighbours called the fire department if they thought there was a fire. Plus, a lot of those fake candles are meant to look like real flames. If I were you Op, I would personally go and thank my neighbours for having called even though it wasn't a real fire. I wouldn't want the neighbours to hesitate next time (if there is a real fire) thinking that they were wrong last time or because they were embarrassed that it wasn't real, because in that time a lot of damage could be done. People get injured and people lose all of their belongings and memories in fire's and a quick call from the neighbours and a fast reaction time from the fire department are often the difference between life and death. Your neighbours sound like good people to have on your side.
Grenith 21
I wish I could give this 1,000 likes.
Kevlar_burrito 6
Yes your "dick head" neighbors should never report seeing smoke and flame coming out of a house. Maybe you shouldn't be the ******** lighting torches inside your house
MidnaLink 35
They were fake torches. They're wasn't anything close to a flame, it's just for the setting.
explosivepeach 13
Sounds like they were worried about you. Caring neighbors can be a good thing. Lay off a little Op.
LeBandit 20
at least they where looking out for your safety
FunnnyGirrl 19
Well now your wild ambiance just turned into voyeurism LOL!
LexiDaBae 17
I thought it was exhibitionism in this case.
sockoiid 13
They may have been ignorant, but they had the right intention. FYL for the ruined moment though.