Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, my girl was giving me a BJ when my dog started howling. She keeps going; my dog keeps howling. She stops, my dog stops. We start getting it on again and my girl starts giving me a BJ again; my dog starts howling louder this time. So we stop. My dog stopped me from getting some. This is a first. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML
Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML
Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Filitov 0
Dogs and ******* have never really gotten along much, y'know.
shortymac 0
The number 1 reason the pets should never be in the same room as 2 people having sex. it never works out.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (113)
ronnieofcloud9 0
well dud you get to bust at least??
SokDek 14
OH YEA!
mesoleeet 0
why would you get freaky with the dog in your room?! LOL
I_R_Genius 3
Het *********** (sp?) is climbing in the lorn industry. Maybe you should start your own adult film company and call it "my trusty companion(sp?)."
I_R_Genius 3
*****
I_R_Genius 3
How the hell is it getting "het" out of "hey." SMFH.
saladgirl123 0
it is bad when people correct them selves like that because the stupid grammar nazis are so bad..i got what you were saying buddy :)
poiuytjfffc 0
ydi for not training ur dog well
Filitov 0
Dogs and ******* have never really gotten along much, y'know.
shaneac 0
Your comment wins the award for epicness. Usually when I say lol, I don't actually laugh out loud.
kristen1026 2
funniest comment fml has seen in a loooong time. LMAO
gooBUZZ 0
It wasn't that good? :S
planbsponserme 2
I didn't think it was funny at all. and i have a great sinse of humor
Juliaa15 6
I was thinking that myself.
MzKylz 0
lol
kurato 6
I guess we could say, that dog was *put on sunglasses* a **** bite. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa
geigercounter 0
I describe how awesome this was XD
daaron 3
true jealously your dig has for u what have you been doing
Craziemami_fml 0
hahahaa #2
Xxgreenbug29xX 5
Lmao, made my night. xD
shortymac 0
The number 1 reason the pets should never be in the same room as 2 people having sex. it never works out.
xMaNNiNGx119 0
What's the number 2 reason? They might get into it?
3p1c_fml 1
yea, and then your girlfriend might decide the dog's better than you...
Cooldown987 0
Now that's one special kind of threesome.
acethehusky 0
bwahaha XD
truehitman2010 0
5th
adjacent 2
that dog doesnt like ******* then
LoveMySoldier82 0
What a bitch!
mintcar 10
Loyal dog is loyal.
SarahCrazy_fml 0
Hahhaha! apparenty the girl wasn't good enough and your dog decided to take care of it for you. good dog ;)
JmZ_fml 3
sarahcrazy u r 1 hott bitch...lol
ohthebloodygore 16
Girls like to be called 'bitch'?
SarahCrazy_fml 0
I sure as hell don't
xGUMMYBEARSx 0
well he added "hott"?? haha jk. fml guyz are dorks. (;
snoot 0
JmZ your batting 100 with the online ladies, nice work!!!
hook_em 0
I'll help out what about you are one beautiful girl! ;) lol
adtr4ever 6
your really pretty sarahcrazy:)
GeekGnome 0
SarahCrazy is a beautiful women. I'm pretty sure she doesn't enjoy being called hott, shows immaturity when approaching a women. secondly bitch is on a females hate meter next to ****, either one should land u a swift kick in the nuts. Figuratively Speaking:)
adtr4ever 6
very true geekgnome
valri3 0
Yes you are rather HOT! lmao
valri3 0
Well since this whole thread has been dedicated to your attractiveness, then yeah I agree you are stunning.
SarahCrazy_fml 0
56, 60, 61 know how to sweet talk a lady and treat her right. y'all else are pathetic.
SarahCrazy_fml 0
looks like we got booted!! lol
hook_em 0
I suppose they got tired of us showing them up for being respectful?? jealous ppl I swear haha
SarahCrazy_fml 0
hahaha, to funny.
notsoluckypup 12
Oh snap indeed...
XxKyttixX 0
How long was your dog even watching?