Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put vinegar in my contact solution. I took my contacts out hours ago and my eyes still burn. FML
Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat during a coughing fit, thinking it would take away the itchiness in his throat. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML
Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
Today, I had to call poison control on one of my students, because they decided to drink a half a bottle of hand sanitizer. FML
Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
I hope you did the Pee Wee Herman Tequila dance in the ER waiting room. That woulda showed him.
truehitman2010 0
idiot everyone knows your suppost to use vodka
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Comments (229)
InsaneGenius 0
I can probably tell you why OP called her son a moron; she knew if she didn't say it most of the people on here would, and then tell her she raised a moron too. She was probably thinking it would keep the inevitable bashing to a minimum. I suppose she was wrong. OP, next time he needs something, tell him what to do if he has a problem. He definitely should have thought that one out better!
shutupK 0
Or maybe it was just because he is a moron.
klong91 7
Well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
ideasrule 13
It doesn't, but animals then eat the apple, transport the seeds to some other place, and defecate them out unharmed. This is how the apple tree disperses its speeds. Other plants have arguably more efficient mechanisms: the dandelion uses the wind, several plants use burrs, and aquatic plants can use water currents.
exotramp 5
rofl. win.
CTVrhythmguitari 8
mmmm derp :D
shutupK 0
My picture says it all about this situation. Good luck.
JustinThunder 8
Curb stomp him
FMLGriff 8
Others thought "moron" was too tough a term? how about "you raised an idiot"? You can still love an idiot.
shutupK 0
Well said.
FMLsOhilarious 6
Wow, you people are ignorant for just assuming that the son is an idiot because his mom must be too. I'm pretty sure she didn't teach him to do that...he's 22 I mean, you've all seen Jackass right? Are those guys idiots? Sometimes they are, but no one says anything about their parents. It's a different situation but still. Just because the child does something stupid doesn't mean the parent(s) are as well.
docscientist 10
The difference is the guys on jackass were filming for an audience. They knew those things were stupid otherwise they wouldn't have done them.
docscientist 10
But I agree that it doesn't make the parents moronic.
Snowstar 0
And hand sanitizer!
ap1kiley 0
and you're so bitchy you turn something moderately humorous, into something you can criticize. I hate ppl like you.