Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put vinegar in my contact solution. I took my contacts out hours ago and my eyes still burn. FML
Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat during a coughing fit, thinking it would take away the itchiness in his throat. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML
Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
Today, I had to call poison control on one of my students, because they decided to drink a half a bottle of hand sanitizer. FML
Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
I hope you did the Pee Wee Herman Tequila dance in the ER waiting room. That woulda showed him.
truehitman2010 0
idiot everyone knows your suppost to use vodka
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Comments (229)
jSOPURE 3
Alcohol doesn't solve all of life's problems. :)
KickItHigh 32
He still lives with his mom? It's only acceptable if you're asian. (I'm asian but I'm under 18)
love15_fml 8
I'm sorry but I have to say... if you spent more time teaching him basic things and less time calling him a moron, maybe you wouldn't have this problem... Also, YOU raised him but HE suffered... so fHISlife and YDI.
gagaman_fml 0
Regarless of the age, you shouldn't call him a moron, makes you look like a bad parent!
Angi95 3
Bad parent jeez next thing your going to say is that your a bad parent if you spank your child. You people are sensitive seriously grow a pair.
dt520 4
eyeball shots! always during spring break lol
bmanholmes 3
maybe he was drunk :( ?????
bre12 0
well id say that was not very smart...but funny
Smgulsby 0
Today my mom said she raised a moron. I'm an only child!
ItsAuTumnSir 0
^ he does look like Justin Bieber!:D
Got_any_grapes1 4
:O You mean your NOT supposed to do that? No wonder why I have been seeing an impossibly huge number of morons on this website...