Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put vinegar in my contact solution. I took my contacts out hours ago and my eyes still burn. FML
Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat during a coughing fit, thinking it would take away the itchiness in his throat. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML
Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
Today, I had to call poison control on one of my students, because they decided to drink a half a bottle of hand sanitizer. FML
Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
I hope you did the Pee Wee Herman Tequila dance in the ER waiting room. That woulda showed him.
truehitman2010 0
idiot everyone knows your suppost to use vodka
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Comments (229)
huntermc7 0
Wow...just when I thought people couldn't get any dumber...
techweed 12
Is that you or Bieber? cause the pic look like that gay, pre-pubescent popstar, who's only fans are 10-year-old girls. though it could still be you :-)
Tempsey 0
He's just a dedicated fan.
pickles1994 18
no because it says he's from USA
jwoww17 0
#33, win :P lmao
MissBunny25 0
33, whoa, seriously? lets not start with the "all of America is dumb" stereotypes.
TheBeatlesAreLov 0
^^ Look Justin Bieber's on FML!
pinkcd3 0
hhahah he is ;D
sumtone 0
Like Father Like SON =P
jwoww17 0
haha lool :p
craaazymonkey 0
did u drop-kick him?
fthku 13
Dumb son, absolute bitch mom. What a great family! Calling your son a moron on the internet, to a bunch of random people, has a lot to say about you, yourself.
docscientist 10
It says she can recognize the truth despite it being her son?
fthku 13
There is a difference between knowing it, and publishing it online, whether annonymous or not. How smart a person is shouldn't be judged by a single action, especially when it is given to you second hand from the FML, nor should a person be condemned even if he DOES have below average intelligence.
docscientist 10
Nobody said anything about being condemned. it was a very, really, moronic action. But I don't see op condemning the kid. But come on, by posting this, op clearly doesn't believe his/her son is mentally deficient, otherwise it wouldn't be something to post.
fthku 13
I was referring to the comments on the FML, actually, not OP. It can't be "second hand" judging for her, when it is told by her. OP clearly does state she finds him to be an idiot. I didn't say an actual mental deficiency, and it doesn't really matter. I just don't think highly of a person who would write like this about their own son. Maybe I'm exeggerating, and it's not that bad, but oh well. :)
Rainbow35 6
But he's 22, and he put tequila in his eyes, basically. You'd expect a 7 year old to know better than that, so how is it anything but moronic?
fthku 13
You completely missed my point, #74. I wasn't even talking about whether or not what the son did was stupid- which of course it was.
5t3ff1k4h 45
74 - You'd expect a 7 year old to know not to lick the contacts or put spit on them before putting them into your eye. How many adults still do that? Many.
rubycd 0
so what if she called him a moron? she's his mom she can call him what she wants and I'm sure her son knows it too. big whoop.
Angi95 3
My mom calls me names all the time you don't here me winning. It's called tough love sounds like your parents babied you. Also the guy is a moron if he has had contacts this long he should know anything that's not solution=pain.
jazmenbreannuh 0
stfu. she can call him what she wants. it's HER son.
ashk8n 0
your stupid!!! that's the only thing you can do! my eye doctor even told me that when I first got them!
ashk8n 0
* 105
5t3ff1k4h 45
178 - Your stupid what? Cat? Dog? Complete the sentence, please. Also, no. You're the idiot, and so is your doctor. Do you realize how many germs are in your mouth?! If you lick your contacts to moisten them, you're putting those germs directly into your eye. You can easily (and probably will) get an eye infection of some kind, or worse. What are you -supposed- to use? Saline solution, or water in a pinch. Putting spit on your contacts is one of the worst things you can do!
Alejandra760 0
I agre some family right there...did u hear some one say disfunctional family
Angi95 3
I spelled whining winning fail lol.
1SxcBuNnii 10
I take it this FML upset you....?
techweed 12
don't call your own son a moron, bastard
darkmis1 18
How can you know whether or not the OPs parents were married?
MissBunny25 0
98... pardon my language but what the ****?? last time I checked it's still considered OP's son whether the parents are married or not. you quite possibly just posted the dumbest comment I've ever seen. *sloshes boiling macaroni on 98*
OCDC 9
I think darkmis was referring to the fact that techweed called OP a bastard, hence the unmarried parents part.
MissBunny25 0
ohhh I see. *wipes macaroni of darkmis* my apologies!
kweenbitch 0
if op was calling the son a bastard it means unwed parents. in this case op was referring to the parent as a bastard. so all of you are wrong. (you're welcome!)
yourmurderscenex 13
missbunny: what is up with you and "throwing boiling macaroni" on people? that's um... different.
Christonarhino 0
119- A bastard is someone who was born when the parents weren't married. Thus the comment about whether our not their parents were married.
MissBunny25 0
wow thank all of you for the definitions :)
ImKindaABigDeal 6
Just to hammer the point home, bunny: "bastard: crazzy ol **** without a father" ~Urban Dictionary
5t3ff1k4h 45
185 - Without a father? So... it was an immaculate conception?
ImKindaABigDeal 6
I guess so. The only known case of this is the virgin Mary, making Jesus a bastard. (Let the hating begin)
ideasrule 13
"Bastard" does not usually mean "child born out of wedlock" in modern usage. To suggest otherwise is to commit an etymological fallacy.
ImKindaABigDeal 6
I was joking relax
DarkJoy_fml 5
I am not going to say I am a nice person because I am not, but I feel like I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I don't have kids, but I cannot imagine teaching my kids everything I know and having them pull a stunt like this. I would love them still, but how could you not call them a moron? I have friends that have done some stupid shit and their parents are very intelligent. I would not blame these parents for calling their kids morons. There has to be a line drawn somewhere when you realize your child is stupid. Perhaps it is inappropriate to broadcast it on the internet though.
docscientist 10
It's anonymous, it's like she's yelling it into her pillow, there's no consequences at all to anything people broadcast. What we think doesn't really matter to her, as we'll never affect her or her son's life in any significant way.
sailam777 0
I agreed with #18. that show you have a lot of characters.
LaChula 0
hmm do u let him play with scissors too? I recommend u shouldnt any more
xxmollyxx 25
well well, thats not a very nice thing to say about your own son:) what a waste of good alcohol though!
sasonzal 4
yesterday I needed to sleep at my dads and I didn't brought the solution so his friends were like"just put it in the vodka"not only your son thinks that
mk58 31
So, did you do it?