Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put vinegar in my contact solution. I took my contacts out hours ago and my eyes still burn. FML
Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat during a coughing fit, thinking it would take away the itchiness in his throat. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML
Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
Today, I had to call poison control on one of my students, because they decided to drink a half a bottle of hand sanitizer. FML
Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
I hope you did the Pee Wee Herman Tequila dance in the ER waiting room. That woulda showed him.
truehitman2010 0
idiot everyone knows your suppost to use vodka
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Comments (229)
lostfaithinpppl 19
YDI for raising a moron.
shinydragonmist 0
he must have wanted to wear somes tequila contacts to see the effects of tequila on one's perception
yooser 0
your son is a winner
Fafnir956 8
You know... he is right. Ethanol is very effective at killing bacteria, aka germs. It was dumb to put it in his eye since it kills almost every kind of cell, but YOU are the moron for not knowing that he was at least half right!
docscientist 10
Who said OP didn't know. Op quoted the son, and called him a moron for putting in the contacts.
Angi95 3
Yes let put alcohol in our contacts that's a great idea. WTF. He was definatley right a out that one.
Prankster7o7 5
That sounds like that one time when I washed my eyes out with the disinfectant instead of the saline solution, I think I cried.
TAHDOGG 0
it killed the germs, alrite...smh
sonspeedy 4
is he still living at home? if so that also makes him a lazy moron.
underpaid011 0
the acorn never falls far from the oak tree. you passed on the moron gene.
Frenchface 0
well then
PJATOSROCKS09 0
Sort of mean to call him a moron...just sayin'.