Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put vinegar in my contact solution. I took my contacts out hours ago and my eyes still burn. FML
Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat during a coughing fit, thinking it would take away the itchiness in his throat. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML
Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
Today, I had to call poison control on one of my students, because they decided to drink a half a bottle of hand sanitizer. FML
Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
I hope you did the Pee Wee Herman Tequila dance in the ER waiting room. That woulda showed him.
truehitman2010 0
idiot everyone knows your suppost to use vodka
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Comments (229)
SupermanXL 3
ydi, last sentence says it all.
hatesboners 0
Technically, he's not wrong. Tequila will kill germs. He just didn't think about how much it would hurt....
Shenronlock 7
"Son, I am dissapoint."
Aoifexzx 3
YDI cause u sound like such a bitch for calling him a moron! Jesus poor son if everything he does warrants a name calling
Angi95 3
I think everybody is freaking out too much over the parent calling their son a moron. You guys are a bunch of babies I highly doubt OP means it. My parents call me retarded when I do stupid stuff. They still love me and OP probably still loves there son. It's not a big deal the parent probably called him worse in person.
yourmurderscenex 13
i know right, people are just overly sensitive. my mom has called my brother and i morons plenty of times and i didn't go cry in a corner. she was right and i bet her son will agree with her on that one.
Angi95 3
People do stupid shit it's that simple and deserve to be called morons its part of being human. Everybody just needs to grow a pair and chill out.
yourmurderscenex 13
lmao. 35.
JenL_fml 7
And this is why I wear glasses. :3
xX6METALHEAD9Xx 0
were you drunk when he was conceived?
mrkhan17 8
was he drunk off his ass when he did it?
BOSS3000 0
probably lied to you OP. this has been all over the new; people pouring alcohol down their eyes so they don't have to taste it. it also gets you wasted quicker