Anonymous
United States
Invasion of the bodysnatchers
Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
emily
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Whodunnit
Today, my cellphone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML
Muhd Hazrie
Flashdance
Today, I was working as a security guard in a office building. It was 5 p.m. and most of the staff had gone home so it was pretty quiet. I did a little ballet dance around my security post. When I turned around, I saw my supervisor taking a video of me. He sent it to my boss. FML
Zxry123
Singapore, Singapore
LET ME IN
Today, I work the night shift as a security officer. I packed my uniform and my stuff into one large bag and left for work. When I arrived, I realized that I'd left something important at home, so guess what it was? My security pass and it was almost 5 minutes before my shift started. FML
chili
No one is safe
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
fucked
San Francisco, United States
Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML
anon
Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML
copshop
United States
Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Clinch
Parp Blarp Mall Carp
Today, I was security at a shopping centre and tried to stop a guy from drinking in public. He told me to fuck off and "go play cops and robbers somewhere else", so I tried to escort him to the security office. He picked me up with one hand and threw me in the fountain. My boss let him go with a warning. I hate my job. FML
Jonoq
Canada
Stress factor 11
Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML
Top comments
boyguydudemalema 0
because you applied for it ?
Hasmo 0
someone needs to protect the zombies right? your doing your country a service
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Comments (258)
rofflewaffle 9
Obviously it's so you can die a stereotypically horrific death in the event of a zombie uprising. Or to cockblock necrophiliacs. Either way, you applies for it; you're making money. Don't complain. Millions of people would love to be able to have a steady job right now.
Anteezy 7
You're there to prevent people from having sex with the bodies, or eating them. Or you could take bribes and provide Vaseline for customers there to make a extra buck.
Aniblecoby 0
that's really nasty!
FrenchyBuddy 1
at least you have a job, and a quiet one ;) except for zombies, necrophilia and body snatchers ;) I heard a human body costs 200 000 $ pharmaceutical companies and medecine never have enough bodies to work with. At least you'll maybe live epic stories ^^
HabaneroIcecream 0
Doctors buy clean and completed skeletons for about 20,000 a piece; you're there to sell the body to body snatchers at a discounted price.
sammd44 0
wow...not one other person thought of that reason for OP's job. is that ur profession? do u like to torture small animals too?
Seana_fml 6
That's an important job, people's loved ones are there. You would be surprised as to what people steal or vandalize at a morgue.
bethany_camille 0
Ha ha if the zombie apocalypse starts then your ******!!!! Have fun babysitting dead people!
sammd44 0
Haven't u ever heard of an organ black market? Or, did u ever think ur protecting someone else's deceased loved one, so they can have funeral services to give themselves & friends/family closure? Don't u think? well, just for that thoughtless comment...maybe that's why u don't work/mingle w/the living.
Hunterchick85 0
Why r u complaining And duh, so people dnt steal the dead bodies, have sex with them, or vandalize the building
kisseshugsdrugs 5
so people dont have sex with dead people?
colombiancartel 0
b/ c of necrophiliacs,thats what i thought too.
somber_star 9
Hey, think of it this way... at least you won't have to break up any fights. Given the choice of being security at a club or the morgue, I think I'd take the morgue.