Anonymous
United States
Invasion of the bodysnatchers
Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
emily
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Whodunnit
Today, my cellphone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML
Muhd Hazrie
Flashdance
Today, I was working as a security guard in a office building. It was 5 p.m. and most of the staff had gone home so it was pretty quiet. I did a little ballet dance around my security post. When I turned around, I saw my supervisor taking a video of me. He sent it to my boss. FML
Zxry123
Singapore, Singapore
LET ME IN
Today, I work the night shift as a security officer. I packed my uniform and my stuff into one large bag and left for work. When I arrived, I realized that I'd left something important at home, so guess what it was? My security pass and it was almost 5 minutes before my shift started. FML
chili
No one is safe
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
fucked
San Francisco, United States
Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML
anon
Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML
copshop
United States
Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Clinch
Parp Blarp Mall Carp
Today, I was security at a shopping centre and tried to stop a guy from drinking in public. He told me to fuck off and "go play cops and robbers somewhere else", so I tried to escort him to the security office. He picked me up with one hand and threw me in the fountain. My boss let him go with a warning. I hate my job. FML
Jonoq
Canada
Stress factor 11
Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML
Top comments
boyguydudemalema 0
because you applied for it ?
Hasmo 0
someone needs to protect the zombies right? your doing your country a service
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Comments (258)
MoreLemonP1edge 3
you applied for the job what did you think it entailed?
stevenmx86 8
So people don't steal bodies...
s_bloodnozzle_iz 0
someone needs to protect them dead bodies from them nacrapheliacs. or whatever the **** those people who have sex with dead people are called.
joHnnycsU 0
at least you have a job...
MajorLeeScrewed 0
Haven't you seen Bad Boys 2?
JuggerzTheCat 0
Haha mate, you are a ******* thug. Maybe YOU should have stayed in school and learned proper grammar instead of dealing drugs on the side.
clevelandkid 0
at least u have a job so shut the **** up u ungrateful bitch
ouch1990 0
I wouldn't complain, sounds very relaxed and easy
NASSASSIN 4
You get paid to not have to worry or do anything. Oh no, your world must be crashing down around around you. woe is you. Would you prefer to guard a place where you're liable to get shot and killed for the same amount of money? that's just stupid.
Arancaytar 0
You're there so nobody tries to **** the corpses. It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it. :P