Anonymous
United States
Invasion of the bodysnatchers
Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
emily
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Whodunnit
Today, my cellphone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML
Muhd Hazrie
Flashdance
Today, I was working as a security guard in a office building. It was 5 p.m. and most of the staff had gone home so it was pretty quiet. I did a little ballet dance around my security post. When I turned around, I saw my supervisor taking a video of me. He sent it to my boss. FML
Zxry123
Singapore, Singapore
LET ME IN
Today, I work the night shift as a security officer. I packed my uniform and my stuff into one large bag and left for work. When I arrived, I realized that I'd left something important at home, so guess what it was? My security pass and it was almost 5 minutes before my shift started. FML
chili
No one is safe
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
fucked
San Francisco, United States
Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML
anon
Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML
copshop
United States
Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Clinch
Parp Blarp Mall Carp
Today, I was security at a shopping centre and tried to stop a guy from drinking in public. He told me to fuck off and "go play cops and robbers somewhere else", so I tried to escort him to the security office. He picked me up with one hand and threw me in the fountain. My boss let him go with a warning. I hate my job. FML
Jonoq
Canada
Stress factor 11
Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML
Top comments
boyguydudemalema 0
because you applied for it ?
Hasmo 0
someone needs to protect the zombies right? your doing your country a service
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Comments (258)
Ouroboros_fml 0
at least you have a job, do you at least get to take leftovers home?
kamadiba 0
You know what, you should be grateful that you have a job. You took the job don't complain about it. If you hate it and think it is stupid, quit. I am sure there are plenty of people willing to take your place. Most people would love to get paid to do practically nothing. Your life must be pretty damn great if all you have to complain about is the fact that you have an easy job with almost no risk. I hate people like you.
jckbco 0
bitch
sammd44 0
that's not 'bitch,' that's honesty & reality...can't handle that, then join ur security guard buddy...
lexa18 6
He was just saying why do dead bodies need guarding. I hate people like you. He never said he hated the job.
thisismy83 0
Have you never seen return of the living dead? You could make zombies come back to life!
jleep 0
at least you have a job. so ungrateful...
nerdsgetmehot 23
Why are you there? In case the bodies start to, uh..."reanimate." In other words-- ZOMBIES.
allmidnighteyes 11
Time to stock up on gas, food, rifle ammo, and head north.
funhun123 0
You are here because of the OUTSTANDING amount of dead bodies being stolen... It's a profitable business. Keep the necrophilliacs away!!!
Zebidee 9
You're there to be the 'redshirt' for the Zombie Apocalypse. There will be a noise, you'll put down your comic book, pick up a flashlight and go to investigate without turning the lights on. You'll open a cadaver drawer, and a poorly explained, anomalous cat will leap out and hiss at you, causing you to jump in fright. Once you've calmed down, you'll relax and turn to leave, then RAAAAWWWWRRRR!!!!
Mittle 0
you don't have to do a whole lot lol. your the first front against the zombie infection.
cufaoil 11
Security in a morgue??? But it's the hottest club in town!!!! After all, people are just dying to get in there...
kilbert 0
everyone is missing the point... he's not complaining he's a security guard, he's wondering why a mourgue needs a guard
cufaoil 11
read my post.... then read it again.... I answered that question... :P
Zebidee 9
Now that's taking the British English random additional 'u' to a whole new level...