Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eager to learn how to use chopsticks, as I was in a nice Chinese restaurant and had ordered noodles. As I was visibly struggling to eat, the server brought me a fork. When I reached for it, I flicked a noodle into a lady's soup at the next table. FML
Today, I ordered takeout. When I looked in the bag, I saw they'd included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, then estimated that there must be at least four people eating such a large meal. I was eating alone. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, during my second day on the job, I ate pasta with a pen in the backroom. My old job provided plasticware, and it never occurred to me to pack a fork. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, at work, I got to wait on one of those tables where everyone had very complex orders, and some of them sent their food back. When the time finally came for me to bring them their check and receive my well-earned tip, I returned only to discover that they'd dined and dashed. FML
Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML
Today, my kids and I went to have dinner with a coworker. After everyone ate, the kids went to play while I helped clear the dishes. To my horror, instead of individually wrapping the kids leftovers, she scraped all the uneaten food back into the main pots. I wanted to puke on the spot. FML
Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
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Top comments
littleflowertje 13
Why??
kirbo2 21
Looks like somebody forked up
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Comments (49)
peachykeen93 17
That's really stupid.
Gloomzz 26
People asking why - could be a case of social anxiety disorder. A lot of people dismiss these disorders because they seem to think that they are relatively unimportant.
Migole 36
No I don't think that but I also know that someone with an anxiety disorder this severe would probably never eat out on their own. Since you have to ask for a seat, signal the waiter you wish to order and then signal again that you want to pay. Someone who can manage all of these, can manage to ask for a fork as well. Especially since waiters usually ask from time to time if everything is alright.
LyricaSilvan 30
Incorrect, 19. I have very severe anxiety - social and in other senses - and I have eaten out at restaurants by myself before. Don't assume that all cases are the same. Even things like anxiety can work differently from one person to the next.
LyricaSilvan 30
Certain things are similar, yes. But not all people with anxiety will react the same way to certain things. Not all people with social anxiety are terrified of even SPEAKING to another human. Different things can cause an anxious reaction in different people, and the reactions may be more severe or less severe depending on the person and how well they cope with it.
sylvienoir 18
I can tell you the super secret reaction that servers have when you ask them for a fork... They get OFFENDED and ask you if you're stupid! Not really...they get you another fork 5 seconds of unpleasantness for an easier way to eat food. Weigh those options.
petunia723 12
One of the most British thing I've ever heard that doesn't involve tea.
sohigh10 34
I can't imagine the amount of FMLs that were far more worthy of being published than this. Even if you did have social anxiety.. you ate dinner in a slightly odd way, big deal
flyingflies 36
Assuming you suffer from social anxiety - you handled eating with two knives, but you couldn't handle asking for a fork? Guess which is bound to attract more attention. Assuming you were VERY tired - was it easier to use a knife instead of a fork then asking for a fork?
OhPuhleeze 23
Hungry all the time, loss of concentration may be signs that either you are really busy and haven't rested in a long while or maybe onsey of diabetes. Have your sugar levels checked. Consult a doctor.
OhPuhleeze 23
Kudos for having your dinner with two knives. Must've taken you some time. Really admire your dedication. I probably would've asked for a fork or maybe have asked them to bag the meal.
ArizonaRain001 12
I hope it wasnt soup
J352SAURUS 30
Look! It's Moon Moon's sister-in-law: Knife Knife!
beachtrash 7
Too tired to think straight, eating off the sharp ends of the sticks, and your tongue is in one piece? I think you just used up your supply of good karma.