Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eager to learn how to use chopsticks, as I was in a nice Chinese restaurant and had ordered noodles. As I was visibly struggling to eat, the server brought me a fork. When I reached for it, I flicked a noodle into a lady's soup at the next table. FML
Today, I ordered takeout. When I looked in the bag, I saw they'd included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, then estimated that there must be at least four people eating such a large meal. I was eating alone. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, during my second day on the job, I ate pasta with a pen in the backroom. My old job provided plasticware, and it never occurred to me to pack a fork. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, at work, I got to wait on one of those tables where everyone had very complex orders, and some of them sent their food back. When the time finally came for me to bring them their check and receive my well-earned tip, I returned only to discover that they'd dined and dashed. FML
Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML
Today, my kids and I went to have dinner with a coworker. After everyone ate, the kids went to play while I helped clear the dishes. To my horror, instead of individually wrapping the kids leftovers, she scraped all the uneaten food back into the main pots. I wanted to puke on the spot. FML
Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
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Top comments
littleflowertje 13
Why??
kirbo2 21
Looks like somebody forked up
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Comments (49)
Fuhkyoo 17
how do you eat with 2 knives? i dropped my ipod in a hole once, and used barbecue tongs to get it out... i imagine its something like that. took me like 45 minutes and wrapping the tongs in duct tape, but i did it.
Cdwoods 20
i feel like asking the waiter for a fork probably would've gone a bit better.
confused_wandere 26
Being British
anaheimangels40 11
That has to be the dumbest thing I have Ever Heard. Why Would You Not Ask For A Fork?
creditless 14
that sounds like more of a passive aggressive meal than a tired one... js
rufus147 12
In Sweden we would call that a knifey situation ;) (en knivig situation)
Mons_fml 27
Ja för bövelen!
_EnderDoge 22
Doesn't sound like a knife time.
ImagineCrazy 27
How the hell is this an FML?
URBeingLied2 23
I feel like there's a type of social anxiety OP has that went unsaid in this FML. I only assume because I have anxiety and have had similar experiences.
bonermonkey 31
if I had been your waiter I would have noticed and brought you another.
Dictionaryspeaks 18
Social anxiety???