Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eager to learn how to use chopsticks, as I was in a nice Chinese restaurant and had ordered noodles. As I was visibly struggling to eat, the server brought me a fork. When I reached for it, I flicked a noodle into a lady's soup at the next table. FML
Today, I ordered takeout. When I looked in the bag, I saw they'd included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, then estimated that there must be at least four people eating such a large meal. I was eating alone. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, during my second day on the job, I ate pasta with a pen in the backroom. My old job provided plasticware, and it never occurred to me to pack a fork. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, at work, I got to wait on one of those tables where everyone had very complex orders, and some of them sent their food back. When the time finally came for me to bring them their check and receive my well-earned tip, I returned only to discover that they'd dined and dashed. FML
Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML
Today, my kids and I went to have dinner with a coworker. After everyone ate, the kids went to play while I helped clear the dishes. To my horror, instead of individually wrapping the kids leftovers, she scraped all the uneaten food back into the main pots. I wanted to puke on the spot. FML
Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
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Top comments
littleflowertje 13
Why??
kirbo2 21
Looks like somebody forked up
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Comments (49)
cj89898 24
Did you have a knife night? I'm sorry, I'll leave.
klouises 4
punny
MisterEx 28
too spoon.
ArbiterOfFML 24
that is a spoontaneous joke.
littleflowertje 13
Why??
Kaylana_fml 31
Completely assuming this based off of the context, but I think the OP was too tired/not in the mood for social interaction, and just found it easier in that moment to improvise rather than make the required niceties in order to obtain another fork. I can honestly sympathize, sometimes we have to be in a social setting when we really aren't up for it.
Ashael 5
So saying "please" is too much of a social nicety for you ?
Kaylana_fml 31
You've never been so tired that the effort of interacting with someone was too much for you? I want your life problems if that's the case.
kirbo2 21
Looks like somebody forked up
CamBamShamDaMan 26
Yea cause it doesn't look like your on drugs when you eat with two knives.
flyingflies 36
you're*
CamBamShamDaMan 26
Whoopty shit. Piss off you grammar nazi
Brandi_Faith 34
Why didn't you just ask for a fork? There's nothing embarrassing about asking for one.
askullnamedbilly 33
I have a hard time feeling bad for someone who could've resolved the whole problem by asking a simple question.
hellobobismyname 24
There's such a thing as social anxiety. Simple for you may not be simple for some. Don't be so judgemental.
Migole 36
@14: So this person managed to eat out on his own, order on his own and pay on his own but asking for an extra fork was too much? Yeah, I don't believe it.
Kaylana_fml 31
Where did she imply that she was on her own? Maybe she was accommodating someone else's desire to go out.
orangejubejube 20
#21 that is actually a possible situation. I have anxiety that sometimes prevents me from socializing for days. Once, I went to an interview and rocked the whole thing, but forgot my mittens at the interview and they still sit in the lost and found even though I'm currently working there. I am much to anxious to have walked back in the building, called later, or ask about them when I started working, or even now. And yet, I can go to work every day and do my job.
gomiyage 7
If you have anxiety, the moment something goes "off script", you just panic and can't move past it. It's easy to do something if you know what to expect, but when something changes that expectation, you're completely lost.
hellobobismyname 24
Wow, some people here just don't understand social anxiety. People with social anxiety aren't all hermits who stay in their houses and never leave. It doesn't mean they aren't capable whatsoever of talking to anyone. It means they are terrified of confrontational situations in varying degrees and it manifests differently in everyone. I have it so I know. I can force myself to go out when necessary and even talk to people if I am feeling brave. Social anxiety is an internal struggle and believe or not, it is possible to overcome it, even if it might be in small doses like going to a restaurant with a friend or by myself. That doesn't mean it stops the panicking or anxiety itself, it just means that a person refuses to be held back because of their disorder. Still, there can be limits. For example, if OP has social anxiety, she has already pushed herself enough to go out and order, but then she was faced with an unexpected dilemma which would require her to get someone's attention to talk to them. She didn't prepare for that. A lot of the time, I have to prepare myself and go through panic attacks before pushing myself to do anything social. I can't deal with impromptu socializing as well as I would like. So, again, stop judging. We all don't know if it was just embarrassment, social anxiety, or something else.
domolovesyoshi 33
While that is true I doubt someone with social anxiety would go out If they're tired, I have social anxiety and while I push myself to go out to restaurants when I'm tired there is no way I can even function
askullnamedbilly 33
You know, EVERY SINGLE TIME someone on FML does something that's easily preventable by opening their mouth and talking to people, there are the people in the comments defending them saying 'Oh god, you probably have social anxiety! Why is everyone being so insensitive?' I'm pretty sure if OP did have that condition, she would've mentioned it in the actual FML. She had more than enough characters left. Instead, she took the time to explain how she was tired, which would've been the least of her problems if she was a person with social anxiety stuck in a highly social situation.
hellobobismyname 24
37 - all I can say to that is, there's nothing wrong with showing sympathy and trying to see the reasons behind the action, rather than just see them as stupid or lacking common sense straight off the bat. I'm sorry you don't like comments like mine, but we'll just have to agree to disagree :) Have a good night!
RememberSchlitz 9
I eat my peas with honey! I've done so all my life. They do taste kind of funny, but it keeps them in the knife. -BurmaShave
Lalala579121 28
How very sharp of you, OP.
asterismoos 7
As a waitress my job is to ensure that every customer has what they need so your waiter should have noticed something.
jk_waks23 19
Doesn't really qualify as a FML! does it?
MissPanda85 5
Unless OP has a knife phobia?