Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke, and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML
Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML
Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML
Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML
Today, my tattoo artist boyfriend of five months gave me my first tattoo in celebration of my 18th birthday. It was supposed to be a heart with my name in script. He spelled my name wrong. FML
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Top comments
MaddogTotten 0
Haha, penis. You really should make sure that nothing you permanently attach to your body looks in any way like a penis, in any context. Sorry but YDI.
UpYourself 0
Hahaha owned
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Comments (124)
Noah_h 0
hah ydi for gettin a fag tattoo
HornyBastardHEHE 0
lmFao you better start wearin sum turtle necks ! BITCH
lukesanborn 0
This is pretty funny, and you do deserve it, but not because (like many people have said) you "mutilated" your body. YDI because anyone who gets a tat is making the choice to have something put on their body. Live with it and stop bitching.
mirz99 0
I have a tattoo. This is BS for several reasons; 1) Before the tattoo is started the artist stencils it onto you so you can see what it's like, you would've noticed because everyone takes time to look at it. 2) A large tattoo running down your spine CANNOT be completed in one sitting, in fact only a third, if that, could be completed in one sitting. 3) You can always go back and get touch ups or a fix at the very least for a very reasonable price if there's a mistake or a problem after healing.
survivalism 0
Your comments are BS for several reasons: 1) Before the tattoo is started the artist stencils it onto you so you can see what it's like, you would've noticed because everyone takes time to look at it. Yeah, and this process usually doesn't include putting your SHIRT back on to see what it looks like under your clothing. 2) A large tattoo running down your spine CANNOT be completed in one sitting, in fact only a third, if that, could be completed in one sitting. Says who? 3) You can always go back and get touch ups or a fix at the very least for a very reasonable price if there's a mistake or a problem after healing. What does that have to do with anything?
funkymonkey90914 0
oh, hey OP? u spelled daMMit wrong. see the 2 m's?? but FYL otherwise...i sense laser removal!
lissa_love 0
he spelled it right, actually. damn, not damm. nice try, though. you might try spelling things correctly yourself before you correct others.
nypd613 0
lissa_love, when you write damn as one word, you spell it "damn". Or even as two separate words, "damn it". But when spelled together (slang) it's better known as "dammit". That doesn't mean that individually it's spelled "damm". Nice try though, you might try learning how things are spelled before correcting other.
lissa_love 0
i'm sorry, i don't speak slang. however, assuming the op just decided not to use a space (as it is, after all, used as a name), damnit would be perfectly correct as well. i was only frustrated because people who comment choose to pick on the op in the oddest ways. and, i'm sorry, but if someone is going to replace "you" with "u", they shouldn't be correcting someone else's spelling.
djb23 0
I'd say you got lucky, a dick tattoo on your neck is probably a little less gay than a broadsword tattoo down your entire back..
Jazzywrites007 2
Ok I must be the Biggest idiot of Internet Memes but........ Is that what "dammit" is supposed to be? Because "Damn" is spelled D-a-m-n and "it" is spelled I-T So I would imagine that the Op spelled it correctly????? So can someone clarify this please? =)
flyingtoasters 0
Wow, way to be a bitch... It can be dammit, its just an alteration. :) I believe that is the correct way to use this, and yes, Damewolf, English is my first language, but thats not really something they teach you in elementary school now is it? Or even high school, and if your teachers taught you that, well, clearly you had a much different education than I did. (I went to a public school...)
Jazzywrites007 2
Wait, I'm A BITCH?????????????
null_fml 11
I don't know where #118 got "bitchy" from; #104 sounded like a legitimate question to me.
Emma_91 0
118 was obviously replying to 105
null_fml 11
#105 is nowhere near this thread.
Emma_91 0
That's because # 105 got deleted.
possumisawesome 0
Dame-nit? Wouldn't it be dam-nit? I dunno, dammit and damnit seem the same to me. What's the big deal about whether or not he 'spelled it right'?
DameGreyWulf 1
Technically speaking, it SHOULD be "damn it." "it" is recieving the action of damning. However "dammit" is more... eh... "correct"... than "damnit"
Jazzywrites007 2
You KNOW WHAT?????? Considering the fact that flyingtoasters and damegreywulf are two of my favorite posters on this site, I'm actually pretty sad that my question (WHICH WAS NOT IN ANY WAY MEANT TO BE SARCASTIC OR CONDESCENDING) has kinda blown up. So I'm gonna go cry now. =)
null_fml 11
"Some one" is pronounced the same as "someone". "Every thing" is pronounced the same as "everything". There's no reason "damnit" should be pronounced any differently than "damn it". It's just a compound word. Anyway, the legitimacy of a slang term is pretty much solely determined by the frequency of its use. "Damnit" and "dammit" are both used and accepted. However, I'd like to propose that "damnit" makes far more sense because it more closely fits the structure of compound words in the English language. The vast majority of them remain unchanged from their original spelling. I can't even think of one that doesn't. I can appreciate progress and change in language, but not when said change is completely arbitrary.
Pandasaur 0
Maybe you should get a tattoo right next to it that says, "Not a penis." That might look a little suspicious, though, so FYL indeed.
TotallyAwesome 0
Lamest tattoo ever. This is coming from a guy who wants a dragon tattoo.