Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke, and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML
Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML
Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML
Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML
Today, my tattoo artist boyfriend of five months gave me my first tattoo in celebration of my 18th birthday. It was supposed to be a heart with my name in script. He spelled my name wrong. FML
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Top comments
MaddogTotten 0
Haha, penis. You really should make sure that nothing you permanently attach to your body looks in any way like a penis, in any context. Sorry but YDI.
UpYourself 0
Hahaha owned
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Comments (124)
remysgal 0
Photo or STFU
Ryuu66 7
 # 24 idk if u noticed but 98% of comments on FML.com are stupid
TysonFawlay 0
Dorky tattoo. :P
Qup 0
tattoos, for the most part are a stupid affectation of losers who wish they were cool, but, aren't. same for piercings. now there are some people out there for whom tatts and piercings are a complement to their personality and are appropriate. those people are few and far between.
monnanon 14
I have to disagree with you, most people who get tattoos and piercings get them because they want to. There are certain tattoos and piercings that become fads but most people I know with tattoos or piercings got them because they genuinly wanted one not because "all their friends had one"
possumisawesome 0
For the most part, I agree with you 61. But where I'm from, ALL of the teenaged girls HAVE to have little nose piercings or they aren't cool.
flyingtoasters 0
I sort of agree with you but mostly not. People who get tribal tattoos, Chinese words (unless they actually mean something to said person, then I dont have an issue with it) or any tramp stamp are the ones that suck. My tattoo means something to me, I put 9 years of thought into it and its somewhere I can cover it up for work or whatever, I didnt do it to fit in, I did it for myself. It also doesnt look dirty like OPs... :P
Julietiloveyou 0
I'm sooo sorry, that must be imberssing. Look he has a penis on his back! Is it altleast big? jkkkkk lol
f_u_u_f_f 0
embarrassing--what's wrong with schools these days anyway?
flying_vegan 0
Wert? Yoo harv a preblem wiv imberssing?
nypd613 0
lmfao
netbeui435 3
a strategic blunder.
Starayo 1
See now, this is why my tat is small. And on my front. And absolutely nothing like genitalia. But yeah, FYL.
girlskill 0
I googled broadsword, and if the tattoo is anything like this picture, you're ******. It definitely looks like a peen. http://images.elfwood.com/art/h/a/hakobian/broadsword.jpg
lesb_lv 0
:D you found that sword in site called "elfwood"?! :D The tattoo not just looks like a penis, but its an elf's sword :D I think the only thing OP can do is tatoo all his back with an elfland (or elfwood wit all elfs etc.) and pray every day never get into a prison. And, of course, i think fml is fake, because tattoos on bones are the most painful, really not suitable for the first one.
nodayliketoday 0
lesb_lv, that doesn't mean that people don't do it. My first tattoo was all over my hipbones, and my second tattoo was up my ribs. My third was the first one I got done on an area that wasn't bony.
Plumleywalker 3
you have a crosshatched shaft and a flattened bellend?
shadexilmaendu 4
Hahaha, my first tattoo was my chest piece and I have very little extra meat there... Get a more painful one first then the following tattoos don't seem so bad. ;p ankle was ridiculously easy.
MiaFleur 0
You kind of deserve it. Growing your hair should cover it.
CFR 0
You kids and your crazy tattoos. lol I can totally see it. People walking by "Wtf? What is tha---oh good God!"