Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke, and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML
Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML
Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML
Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML
Today, my tattoo artist boyfriend of five months gave me my first tattoo in celebration of my 18th birthday. It was supposed to be a heart with my name in script. He spelled my name wrong. FML
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Top comments
MaddogTotten 0
Haha, penis. You really should make sure that nothing you permanently attach to your body looks in any way like a penis, in any context. Sorry but YDI.
UpYourself 0
Hahaha owned
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Comments (124)
fallen_dragonkin 12
that's not a huge problem, a good tattoo artist will change the design so it looks better, you just have to wait until it heals before you have farther work done on it.
paperfox_fml 0
.
crazy_cat_lady24 0
Yeah, it must be his lucky day. Instead of a dumb sword tattoo he got an awesome penis tattoo!
plexico 4
There's a simple solution: just get a condom tattooed over the penis/hilt. Also, if you are not gay already, you may want to consider joining up. I think your artwork my be a hit with a subset of them.
AKING 3
could have been a pussy...dumb aussie
the_deuce 0
lmfao!! just get it fixed or whatever lls that is so funny and sad. haha
aback 5
Mullet.
theintrollama 0
YDI for getting such a dorky tattoo!
flying_vegan 0
YDI for a daggy tattoo
TommyCheeks 0
ahaha good one :'D
lillyass 0
I call bullshit. He saw a pic of someone that had it done and then fml'd it.
AlexMercer_fml 3
I agree. All the people I know with tattoos have one thing in common - they all started with something reasonably small. I find it quite unlikely someone would get something that extensive for their first time.
nypd613 0
except michael scofield. lol