Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke, and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML
Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML
Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML
Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML
Today, my tattoo artist boyfriend of five months gave me my first tattoo in celebration of my 18th birthday. It was supposed to be a heart with my name in script. He spelled my name wrong. FML
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Top comments
MaddogTotten 0
Haha, penis. You really should make sure that nothing you permanently attach to your body looks in any way like a penis, in any context. Sorry but YDI.
UpYourself 0
Hahaha owned
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Comments (124)
triplethreat13 0
your first tattoo shouldn't be something that big. YDI.
imakepurplesnow 0
it's funny that the giant penis is also pointing toward his ass.
allmidnighteyes 11
What the ****, a sword? What were you planning on next? An eagle. some jungle cats, and Ed Hardy's signature? YAH BRAHHH
flyingtoasters 0
Jazzy, not you. :) It was in reference to the comment that got deleted. Sorry! (:
teebonehead 0
BIG DEAL ! Just have some hairy balls tattooed to your bum and you will look great from about 3 meters away !
now_what2009 0
seeing as how you picked it out... you must have secretly wanted a big **** on your back. be honest with yourself. You moron!
mpfc1012 1
This is a friend of mine's tattoo http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=1800997&startid=17431975 It had it's 15 minutes of fame back in 2005...Doubt yours is any worse than this
imsleepingbeauty 0
Yep- your ******.
TrentHawkins 0
Use this to your advantage. Guys will take the piss, girls will be curious, and it's the latter you want to take off your shirt for... It's a bold conversation piece now, and the hilt is just a hint. After all, you want the girls to see, just how long your broadsword is :)
Izzay__09 0
YDI for getting a tattoo.