Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke, and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML
Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML
Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML
Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML
Today, my tattoo artist boyfriend of five months gave me my first tattoo in celebration of my 18th birthday. It was supposed to be a heart with my name in script. He spelled my name wrong. FML
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Top comments
MaddogTotten 0
Haha, penis. You really should make sure that nothing you permanently attach to your body looks in any way like a penis, in any context. Sorry but YDI.
UpYourself 0
Hahaha owned
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Comments (124)
TheKitsune 0
This is why you have to THINK ABOUT A TATTOO before you get it. Smart guy.
Stupidpoorpeople 0
Broadsword tattoo? Thats a wanker tattoo.
AP13_13 0
exactly what i thought.
biwinning88 1
agreed... I have a ton of tattoos I love them but seriously? a broad sword, seriously?
wellinever 5
Maybe you can change it to a solid blue tattoo right round your neck and covering your whole back. Assuming the needles don't give you HIV or Hepatitis perhaps the pain will remind you not to do that again.
WoolyWhoop 7
The likelihood of catching any disease from a tattoo parlour is very low nowadays. To the OP, go back and demand to have it fixed. I can't imagine it looking exactly like a ****, so much so it can't be redone. YDI if you don't go back.
sbarre1 0
You're an idiot.
CassieCatastroph 5
If you do your research, check out the shop, make sure the needles are either prepackaged or cleaned properly (in an autoclave), ensure NOTHING is reused other than the gun (which should also be cleaned in an autoclave) then the chances of you contracting a disease from recieving the tattoo are pretty much zero, smartass. This guy CAN get some edits, yes; but suggesting the OP should cover up something, a piece of art, that possibly means something, is just plain ******* ignorant.
Kyo13_fml 4
1. there was an episode like this on tattoo nightmares where they covered it. 2. like many others have said, if you're making sure your artist is using new needles then you won't catch anything. 3. I've gotten a tattoo and it actually doesn't hurt that bad. it can if not done correctly. But the op should have double checked the stencil to make sure they were 100% okay with it before letting them start tattooing.
SAF_fml 0
ya, no shit nat_
Jimboom 12
Well.. it's kind of like a sword still.. just of the love variety. But seriously, wtf? I mean I like swords and knifes and stuff but never enough to get a tat of one on my back. And over time that broadsword will look like a dagger due to wrinkling. ;)
paperfox_fml 0
Newsflash: sometimes people like things more than you do.
nypd613 0
yea and he can never accuse anyone of "stabbing him in the back" because there was a knife on his back already too tempting for anyone to resist
inflagranti 0
how can you not deserve this i don,t know
BioProject 0
That will give women sucking on your neck a whole new meaning.
baller789 0
It's funny how there is a vote option for fmls because everyone knows women can't vote. Silly fml
sublime93 0
Please stop trying to start women/men arguments. Your need for attention is apalling.
xanth 0
Lots of stupid comments in here but that doesn't sound like a big deal. I'm sure your tattoo artist can add some features to the hilt to make its resemblance of a **** less so, or at least a **** that looks ready to kill someone :p . BTW, 8 and 11, you are doucheclowns. #8 no shit, and #11 oh YEAHHHH indeed, who are you, Mr. ******* koolaid?
Einstein714 0
it's forever baby !