Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my job application for McDonald's was rejected. This is the second time. FML
Today, I applied for a job as a dishwasher. I was denied because I don't have enough experience. FML
Today, I applied for a new job as a maintenance technician. About 10 minutes after submitting my resume, I received a rejection letter. My girlfriend is their HR person. FML
Today, I was forced to write a job application letter that boils down to, "I can't do this job, please don't hire me." FML
Today, my time-off request was denied because I'd said on my application that I have “open availability.” This is normally true, except my mother passed away and I need to travel to go to her funeral. I attempted to appeal, but ended up fired for “misleading” the company by “lying on a job application.” FML
Today, I received a series of rejection letters from jobs, one after the other. Last night, I stayed up into the wee morning hours to apply to campus jobs I'm not qualified for, because I was classified as a part-time student due to an administrative error. FML
Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML
Today, we are severely understaffed, and I'm very often the only person working my shift. There's a yuppie who comes in and complains when we have to pause service due to shift change. He does this every day, and I'd had enough, so I slid him an application ,and told him to fill it out, wait, or leave. I got written up. FML
Today, I discovered that I needed to reapply for my job in order to have a chance at keeping it. The applications closed yesterday. FML
Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML
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Top comments
underthesea12 24
why didn't you look at it before?
Pleonasm 36
Start applying in the cartel?
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Comments (82)
underthesea12 24
why didn't you look at it before?
Robbieisadowg 16
I know right! YDI OP for not looking at it before handing it in. Always check over your applications for inaccuracies... Like this.
Arokthis 21
Exactly!
tounces7 28
He probably did look over it - after he was done filling it out. Like most people though, the next day when he went to hand it in, he likely didn't look at it a 2nd time, because he wasn't expecting his roommate to be such a douche.
TwistedCherub1 15
How many times have we seen situations where applications or resumes had issues? If FML has taught me anything it's to check that stuff over and over, right up to the point I hand it to whomever is doing the hiring.
zuixdoll504 4
******* Moron. you couldn't take your time to review it before you sent it in.you don't deserve a job if your that ******* careless
xXxGraveStonexXx 20
He might have been in a hurry..
Pleonasm 36
Start applying in the cartel?
Ambient25 25
yes because it is working so well for them...
Ambient25 25
Anyone not believe me? Just Google "cartel clown gunman" to see today's happening.
Franorox 8
First! I'd like to thank family, friends and all those who helped me achieve this amazing goal. :')
Franorox 8
****.
Tdrizzzzzly 19
You mean third? Well now your comment is double-embarrassing.
Franorox 8
Hence the f-bomb
Blastoid 13
Today, after many years of attempt I was finally first... oh wait, I mean third.. Fml
Ambient25 25
Lol that acceptance speech did you in :P
Pleonasm 36
You imbecile.
Franorox 8
To work so hard, for so long, just to be beaten by two people who didn't even acknowledge their accomplimemts, it's just heartbreaking.
calilovesneb 12
If achieving the first comment on FML is one of your goals in life then you really should consider getting professional help.
OzzMonster 10
Those can be very valuable skills in certain industries. Im thinking banking and funeral parlors specifically
cakefete2 31
Oh, and also in a law office.
Ambient25 25
I think you should practice the 2nd part of your skills on your roommate.
Blastoid 13
Send a hooker to his workplace insisting he is the farther of her unborn child..! be creative..
Ambient25 25
Or OP could call a few sex hotlines and then call his roommate's workplace with them on the line. In the process, OP could also discuss how his roommate is role playing as an unsuspecting boss, and that the ladies should insist that they are trying to continue the "working hours fun time that's been on for the past week" with the named person.
chicken_mcnugget 3
or OP can kill his room mate, hide the dead body and screw over everyone who ever loved him
gimmicksz 9
Father* sorry...had to lol
Dre27 20
Depends on the job, I think if you worked for the government those would be pluses
\ 28
Politicians and **** stars both screw people for a living...
Dre27 20
#51, at least the "victim" likes one of them and not the other
Dodge4x4Ram 46
get him back What goes around comes around
Enslaved 38
"Don't want to think about it Don't want to talk about it I'm just so sick about it Can't believe it's ending this way"
Champignon_fml 19
Anyone who sends out job applications without proofreading deserves it.
WordAficionada 19
If anything, hasn't FML taught us all to double check the things we send off to future employers?! At least you've learnt to double check for next time now.