Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of nowhere. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look! We hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML
Today, I was eating an ice cream on a sidewalk and some woman decided it was time to clip her toenails on her balcony above me. One of the nail shards fell onto my ice cream. FML
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML
Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Aw, that's so awful! The things kids do these days... Wasting good ice cream. It's unbelievable.
Pedo_Bear_fml 0
How old would you say they were? Just curious.
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Comments (95)
AdviceDog 0
▒▒▒▒SUCK ICE CREAM░░░ ▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▓▓█░░░░ ▒▒██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓█░░ ▒█▒█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▒█░ █▒▒█▒▒█▒▒█▒▒█▒█ ░█▒▒█▒▒░░▒▒▒▒█░ ░░█▒█░▒▒█▒▒░█▒░ ░░░██░░███░░█▒▒ ░░░░█░░█▒█░█▒▒▒ ░░░░░░▓▓█▓▒▒▒▒▒ ░OUT OF YOUR SWEATER▒▒
ohmygoodnex 0
DO IT ADVICEDOG COMMANDS YOU.
DoomJeff91 2
I was just thinking that... Not the baby daddy thing but where he's at. Probably ran off with that Carmen Sandiego chick.
Darling_Cherry 5
Yeah, I have to say I'm very turned off by the amount of negative comments issued due to weight. You should have chased after them and pummeled them with your female fists of fury.
thematt_fml 0
mayb she coulda lost a couple of pounds on the chase. burn those calories baby!
olisykes_ 0
I think it would be more effective if she sat on them. Fat chicks = Danger.
Ellowise_fml 0
Hahah :D I'm sorry... but this is funny... Maybe baby weight? If you are fat then don't blame the kids for being honest.
MiniatureMayhem 0
I would have laughed too.
Pedo_Bear_fml 0
How old would you say they were? Just curious.
Driving_Gaming 22
Pedo intensifies
Ducati45 0
they are just kids though. Surely you don't let your self esteem be determined by kids?
Witchcraft_fml 5
Hunt down the kids and sit on them. "Call me fat now, bitches!" *squish*
WorkThatButt 2
Screw them...who cares what little kids think of these days are you joking???.....
mrzero 0
kid's r kid's nice but some of them r realy stupid.
ozymandias_fml 0
Like those that cannot spell "are" correctly?
Stetrain 0
What's especially ironic is that the keystrokes saved by leaving out the letters in "are" were canceled out exactly by the incorrect usage of apostrophes.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Apparently kids have "r" kids that have nice. :]
Aerianna 0
Aw, I bet that melted your self confidence. *Gets shot*
Tequilamockngbrd 7
...that was cute. xD