Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of nowhere. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look! We hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML
Today, I was eating an ice cream on a sidewalk and some woman decided it was time to clip her toenails on her balcony above me. One of the nail shards fell onto my ice cream. FML
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML
Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Aw, that's so awful! The things kids do these days... Wasting good ice cream. It's unbelievable.
Pedo_Bear_fml 0
How old would you say they were? Just curious.
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Comments (95)
ozymandias_fml 0
Poor kids. Some fat lady's gravitational pull stole their ice cream cone!
PlasmaWafflez 0
LOL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Intoxicunt 6
AHAHA! Nice one.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Win.
suzanabanna 0
then dont b fat
killurbeer 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! @ #27
I_am_stupid_also 6
Hitting fat ladies is easy. You get extra points for dropping things on skinny chicks.
PhillyFox 0
thousandinone, the OP might not be able to lose weight as easily as you think. If she's older, her metobolsim is already slow from age. If she has some kind of hormonal disorder or is going through menopause or something, then it's nearly impossible. Don't just assume it's as easy as putting down the fork and working out at the gym 5 days a week.
thousandinone 0
#42: That's bull, and you're being an enabler. People just want to have it easy. A slower metabolism means you extract energy from your food at a slower rate. It does not mean that you magically get more calories from the same amount of food. If your body breaks down sufficient food to release 1500 calories a day due to a slow metabolism, Take in 1150 calories a day- 350 below the amount needed to maintain your current body weight. You will lose 1 pound in 10 days. Fat does not come from nowhere, nor does energy. This isn't a matter of opinon, it's a matter of fact. Not being able to lose weight easily is entirely a willpower issue. If your body requires an intake of X calories to maintain your body weight, by taking in X calories you will maintain your body weight. Exceeding this will cause you, in some cases, to gain weight, and in others, to just excrete more. Getting less than this figure will cause you to lose weight, but undercutting it by too far causes your body to burn lean muscle instead of fat. Again, this isn't a matter of opinion, it's a matter of fact. There is no such thing as too slow a metabolism to lose weight; your body must at minimum be capable of processing sufficient food to maintain your weight, or you will be losing weight and eventually dying BECAUSE of your slow metabolism. Statements like yours buy into, affirm, and enable the stereotype that the rest of the world has of Americans being fat and lazy, and as a healthy American citizen I'm sick of the bull.
rebelwithout 0
Actually, a faster metabolism does absorb more calories due to the fact that it is less efficient at absorbing energy from food and releases more caloric intake as waste. That being said, what you said is generally true and the difference between metabolism speeds makes little difference.
Cristaderzi 0
Actually self esteem can be determined by kids as they are honest and pure. If they say your out of shape then well get it together and fix yourself!
owtom78 0
whoever did that was obviously totally wrong, immature, and impolite. But don't let some obnoxious little kids bring you down.
omgwtffmmfl 0
OP if those turds thought that was funny - then it'd be evn funnier if you'd thrown rocks at their little pin heads.
Sickillsells 0
At least it wasn't bird excrement.
19fml18 0
Just accept the fact that you are obese.
allihall127 0
The fact that she is overweight has nothing to do with this. It's the fact that the parents to these children never taught them any respect so they think it's okay to treat people like that. Is it really worse for someone to be fat or to be mean bastards? I think I'd rather be fat.