Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, and as always, I recycle my trash at work: paper in the yellow trashcan, the rest in the black one. This morning, I saw a cleaning lady empty the contents of the black trashcan into the yellow one, put the whole lot into a big plastic bag and then leave as if this was normal. FML
Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML
Today, I packed all my clothes in a black garbage bag, so I could easily move them to my new house. When I came back outside to load it into my car, the bag was missing, and all I could see was a garbage truck driving away with the week's trash. FML
Today, I came home and saw my roommate had taken out the garbage for the first time in the three years we have lived in the same house. Unfortunately, the bag of laundry I had by the door was taken out with it as well. FML
Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML
Today, I stopped at a supermarket after work and put my reusable bags on the counter while I paid. When I got home, I realized I'd left the bags at the checkout. I went back, and they were still there. Nobody had touched them. I felt strangely lucky and embarrassed at the same time. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML
Today, I ran out of moving boxes so I used a few garbage bags to pack up my clothes. My new roommate decided to be helpful by putting those green garbage bags in the dumpster. It was garbage day. FML
Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML
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Top comments
fractal47 2
So many FMLs can be summarized by "Today, I wasn't paying attention, and did something stupid. FML"
someguy945 0
I hope you don't keep a tiny poodle in your handbag.
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Comments (43)
fractal47 2
So many FMLs can be summarized by "Today, I wasn't paying attention, and did something stupid. FML"
suaveneanderthal 0
so.... what did you throw away? I'm confused
kmfyr 0
#17, OP threw her handbag into the trash compactor. #1, I agree, though they make some of us feel better about our own mistakes. :D
rainbow_laces 0
I think it's fake, she comes from Manchester apparently and no-one says "garbage" in Manchester.
imthestory 0
I do stuff like that sometimes, I will have like a bottle of syrup and a glass of water an I pick up the syrup by mistake and almost take a sip of it
stonecabin 0
so true
irelandeyes89 0
way to not pay attention. wouldnt the garbage bag be heavier than your hand bag?
Kronic_Kitten 0
I'm too broke to pay attention!
Emma Marshall 19
I think it'd be the other way around 😂
heartless_fml 6
wow, smarts.
f_alltheirlives 3
Your handbag is filled with junk too? Throw em both in!
someguy945 0
I hope you don't keep a tiny poodle in your handbag.
blakehilli8 0
fake
perdix 31
Since you paid your husband to snake the toilet and clean out your pipes, what did you do to the plumber?
Witchcraft_fml 5
I guess when you go shopping, you'll be paying for your new items in rotten banana peels? Better yet, save those banana peels and rent a Go-Kart! Not only will you have fun, but passersby will get a kick out of your reenactment of a video game favorite!
nicktowery 0
this site has gone down hill
Nex_Iuguolo 0
it's balloon boy all over again
Turnip_Girl 0
YDI for having a garbage compactor. That's just not the done thing in the UK!
electrolyte9 0
or in most places where housewives don't live