Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Today, I was walking to the bus stop. I saw a chunk of ice and attempted to kick it. Sadly it was frozen to the ground, so I fell, broke my toe, and missed the bus. Even the bus driver was laughing as he drove by. FML
Today, I volunteered to go get ice cream if I could use my mother's car. She told me to be VERY careful. Not ten minutes later, I hit a deer, which got up and walked off as though nothing had happened. FML
Today, I finally removed my car insurance after realizing it costs too much money. Since I then had more money, I went to celebrate with ice cream. On the way, I got hit by a truck. FML
Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML
Today, I'm lying in a hospital bed with two broken leg bones, a reattached tendon, and four screws holding my leg together. Why? Because I wanted chocolate milk and some asshat didn't see me walking across the road. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, it was snowing. I slipped on the ice and fell in the middle of the road, dislocating my left shoulder and knee. As I was screaming in pain and trying to stand up, two boys on the pavement threw snowballs at me while everyone in the cars just drove around me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
berichsoon 11
I'm not saying anything since you called yourself an idiot
sarahlouise0506 10
It would all have been worth it if you got that ice cream!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (96)
berichsoon 11
I'm not saying anything since you called yourself an idiot
dazzyboy 1
OP, that's what you get for being fat
omarzrgz 3
You have no idea if OP is fat or not.
dazzyboy 1
they wanted the ice cream pretty damn bad
Ruler3000 17
I'll at least say he probably made the ice cream man laugh.
egc573 40
You commented to say that you're not going to say anything?
wallandpiece 16
Greedy bastard.
MeeshaMeeshaPup 8
It's okay OP! I'll drop by and give you some ice cream! :D
iStrukk 7
Scream for my ice cream... Bitches get stitches... Two songs by blood on the dance floor. I think this is a conspiracy.
iluvhobos 5
Anyone think this FML sounds like Handiquacks (Family Guy)?
TheCarChanel 0
All I wanted was a Popsicle Ended up in the hospital I got hit by the ice cream man All I wanted was a Popsicle
tjv3 10
Ice creamy cakey cake Ice creamy cakey cake do the ice cream and cake...
sarahlouise0506 10
It would all have been worth it if you got that ice cream!
onlychildFTW 34
It would have been worth it if he didn't get I've cream OR stitches. On this one I'll have to say YDI and FYL. A mix of the two and you get a few seconds of bad luck.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Op didn't scream when he fell. You're supposed to scream for ice cream!
guitarbeast 22
Well as soon as you're allowed out again, you should track down that truck and get your damn ice cream!
gntfmlingnow 12
You're never, ever too old to run to the ice cream truck.
metalcrazed 21
You are the minute you are old enough to buy it from the store.
Spade606 6
Poor baby, you didn't get your ice cream :(
TheGewt 7
Ice cream is serious business. I hope your comment wasn't sarcasm, because I'm in college and wouldn't think twice about how ridiculous I look chasing that truck down.
suoerkewl 15
Ice cream is the ****. I chase down ice cream trucks all the time.
mollysticks 10
You guys are lucky, I don't even get ice cream trucks where I live. Stupid Quebec.
metalcrazed 21
But you can buy a whole carton at the store.
biggestfan23 11
Good thing you didn't end up running through the screen door.
loopsy_fml 14
That would've been funny, too
iPeterPan 8
We all scream for ice cream! And stitches.
speckledots 29
You scream, I scream, We all scream for Ice cream.
linkinpark98 24
Dammit! You beat me to it. :P
ladyLALAA 29
How funny because 6 beat 7 to it!
teague95 16
My dad always told me when the ice cream man's music was playing, it meant he was out if ice cream
TheMathMajor 26
My parents always told my little sister that it was the "music truck" and that all they did was play music for the neighborhood XD. It made sense that they told her that though, she was a terror if she didn't get what she wanted.
Hyde_is_Back 4
I think that was used on Robert from "Everybody Loves Raymond" too.
Michellec9982 18
How old are u exactly?
kandi_kid69 15
Does it matter? Ice cream is a delectable treat of the gods. :p
HeyMondayAddict 4
You're never too old to chase down an ice cream truck.
lilmissroxtar 1
Ur nevr to old for ice cream!???? or stitches
omarzrgz 3
Who doesn't run to catch the ice cream truck? :D