Today, I wrecked my car and got rushed to the emergency room. While strapped to a gurney, a nurse reached in my back pocket, grabbed my wallet and pulled the velcro keeping my wallet shut. The entire room immediately started laughing as condoms and loose change went flying everywhere. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML
Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML
Today, I went to the bank to get a temporary debit card, since I lost my wallet a week ago. On my drive across the street from the bank to the DMV, a car slammed into mine at the intersection, nearly totaling my car. The movie theater I went to last week just called and said they'd found my wallet. FML
Today, I dropped my phone in the parking lot and it landed next to a car tire. As I reached to pick it up, the car backed up and ran over my phone and my hand. Hello, emergency room! FML
Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML
Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I cracked my back while pooping at work. It was so bad I had to go to the hospital and get carried out of the toilet by paramedics. A $4,000 bill later, my coworkers will not shut up about how funny it is. FML
Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said, "It's nothing personal." FML
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Top comments
TwitchingNebula 17
Don't keep condoms in your wallet. They dry out and crack and you can get someone pregnant by using them.
rubberduckie94 13
Either the size or the fact op is old enough to drive a car, yet still uses a Velcro wallet.
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Comments (108)
mrphychrs 5
you keep change in your velcro wallet... I bet you never use those condoms
jaredofmo 22
It's a party, y'all!
poohappens26 0
U were worried about the condoms vs the accident. Are u 13? Ydi
BronyVasNormandy 12
At least it wasn't spaghetti.
thetoxiclion 4
I'm going to hell for laughing at this, aren't I?
havocmike 3
C'mon, that's funny
kitsune3 20
Um...why the **** did the nurse take your wallet?
5t3ff1k4h 47
Um, where the **** else are they going to find ID?
scarletpenguin 16
#77 Hospitals do that when they need to know your name, address and etc. to put into their hospital computers since many patients are not in the condition to give their own info at the time if they're rushed to the hospital in an emergency. Duh. When I was rushed to the hospital, they did the same with me to get my ID. Got it? Sheesh.
Glassmaster 0
Because apparently wrecking your car and getting rushed to the interview isn't a big deal compared to getting laughed at for having small change and condoms in your wallet.
DMarie217 0
Well hey " safety " first right!? Lol
wairdt 5
Velcro FTW.