Today, my daughter and husband surprised me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumped back from the hug and said, "Ewwww, smells like fish." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from work to my three year-old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said, "Daddy, smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it? Then she pushed my face into the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML
Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, I started at my new job. My manager, upon meeting me, hugged me and sniffed my neck, then commented that I smelled "natural" and told me how much he loves that. I have to work with this creep until god knows when. FML
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Top comments
petite_amber150 0
gross. wash much?
batman8 0
price check on vagiclean, I repeat, price check on vagiclean
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Comments (202)
petite_amber150 0
gross. wash much?
jamieeeee 0
I second that.. gross.
MaximilianMarche 0
I had to read it. but then I got a mental picture and smell and wished I hadn't. time to to shower and douche. twice daily please
unidentified_sta 5
>her face is level with my crotch Am I the only one who feels awkward because this statement was included?
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
op daughter smelt something fishy....yea I went there.
labratory5 0
that's ******* funny
FrenchToast94 0
~gags~ nasty I thought I was creepy she added the statement her face level with my crotch
mamamiaaa_fml 12
ewww please clean yourself. and smack your daughter with your crotch as punishment .
DaveOnDope 4
Umm, yeah.
caelrion 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
OP should learn englishhhh
mamamiaaa_fml 12
77- what language do you think she is speaking?
5t3ff1k4h 47
14 - Clearly you know nothing of the female anatomy. Douches are bad for the pH balance of the ******, therefore should not be used. EVER. They lead to infections, among other things. Secondly, showers are only necessary once a day unless you'd been doing hard, laborious work (ie roofing, construction...). If you're cleaning yourself properly during ONE shower, you shouldn't need to clean yourself (unless you already HAVE an infection...) more than once a day.
WallyTheWombat 0
87, let's not forget the main point behind 14's post. She needs to clean down there better because stinky vags are ****** grosssssss.
zkchild 0
Vagiclean aisle 5.
5t3ff1k4h 47
93 - Which is why I said provided you're showering and cleaning PROPERLY, daily, there shouldn't be an issue.
alex1432 9
goes great with your man's tartar sauce
SoulWolf 12
I bet his wife is a fish.
ladybugobgyn 0
It's possible she has a bacterial infection, which does produce a fishy odor. She likely needs to see her doctor. Douching, as stated before is terrible for the vaginal flora. It can lead to an overgrowth of bacteria and yeast which normally live in the ****** at healthy levels.
michman23 0
ROFL.
VeeVengeance 0
hahahahaha he laughed! ^
alizzette_nabash 6
it can often smell like that if she is on her period too which she can't help
FatGuyLover 0
funny 142 mentioned period when 140's picture is a bloody tempon
omgshaylaaa 0
144- "tempon"??? it looks like one giant nasty pad to me, not so much a tampon
dorkasaurusROAR 7
HAHAHA!
Ruff_fml 3
Cute kid : )
Ruff_fml 3
Damnit!! that was meant for 131, the kid in the fml is NOT cute.
xxsmilee4xx 0
wash yourself op .
haquai 0
I'm surprised you got anyone to knock you up in the first place with that stench
122409 0
your comment was a reply to #2 because...?
MissLizWolf 8
1 & 2 were written at the same time, that could be why they are slightly the same? /:
giantsfan2010 23
Maybe OP just finished a tuna sandwich?
GuitarNukka520 5
or perhaps just spilled some on her lap earlier in the day :o
popcornplaya48 0
what does OP and YDI stand for?
beautikill 4
OP means original poster. YDI means you deserve it.
BadasS14 0
it mean Optimous Prime
oliver86 8
^ win
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
****** Power
EffinAhole 0
Old Pussy
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
Ostrich Penis
mamamiaaa_fml 12
orgasmitron's pussy.
zkchild 0
Our pedophile
starile 20
3, one can only hope. Who's genital stench is so strong that it can be smelled through their clothes? Ugh.
xxxDeathBat7xxx 0
#7 what was he doing, ******* the sandwich?
blackie17 0
this ones my favorite :D 103's is just stupid
Canuck13 12
Octo-pussy....she's the latest James Bond girl.
baddawg365 0
no a fish taco
Cjw1220 0
I thought it meant orgy of penguins or something of that nature.
boydeee01 7
Yes. She ate a tuna sandwich and pooped it out of her ******.
GuitarNukka520 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
douche would be a wise investment
snickers001 0
hahaha agreed :)
yomama97 5
not really....douching is bad for you.
batman8 0
price check on vagiclean, I repeat, price check on vagiclean
zattele 3
or FDS, or Vagisil, plain soap and water, but if the odor is so strong ask your Gyn OP, it could be a sign that somenthing is wrong, a lot of times women are embarrased to talk to their doctors about these type of issues but trust me they probably seen it (smelled) before, so go ahead and ask.
the_ace1337 0
it's from Me Myself and Irene moron hahahaha!
blinks 0
lmao what's the matter honey? little extra cheese on the taco?
awkwardddmoment 0
me myself and irene! hahaha. classiQ
kittycatman2 3
I created a Letterman countdown and your comment was #1. This is classic and just wrong. lmmfao. You will be punished but in the meantime Love Peace and Chicken Grease. :) Oh I posted it on facebook.
Sukismama 2
Lmfao. Love that movie
captaincook_fml 1
^ did u think maybe she was just posting on a short thread so it would be read? You moron... fYl dipshit
mz_booty 0
does ur hinny go down on you? if not that's the problem!!
mz_booty 0
hubby**
elmo63 0
mz botty, your beyond hot, just saying
pdp_fml 21
Wow Mz Booty! You are sexy! That aside, op, you might want to shave there?
Mr_Zachary 0
Because nobody lies on the interwebs... Geezers.
EffinAhole 0
yeah mz booty the pic you found on the internet of that model's body is hot
mz_booty 0
thank you and no wasn't a picture I found!!
MissRaiin 0
51 *win!!!
mz_booty 0
#60 fail!
TEG8OY 0
hahaha what did you type in google I want a full image of that body
love0128 5
That's not really her body. if it were, she would show her face.
5t3ff1k4h 47
We can solve this easily. "Ms. Booty", kindly change your profile picture to another, proving that you look the same in each. If you don't change it (because you don't have one) or you don't look the same, we're right. If you do look the same and it's not a pic off the internet, we're sorry.
bowlingenius 0
I applaud you for actually showing your face and not being a poser like yellow bikini girl who is obviously a fake. But I'm sure it's easy for you cuz ur a Canadian hottie ;)
WallyTheWombat 0
There's a site for this.... tineye I think it's called. upload an image and it searches for other locations of the image. I'd look but I'm on an iPhone.
bowlingenius 0
posted towards #60
DonJuan_13 0
hey ms booty wanna get ****** up and make a mistake with me?
5t3ff1k4h 47
95/Wally - While I didn't think of that and that's good to know, assuming Ms. Booty didn't know before, now she does. LOL
ladybugobgyn 0
mz booty, have a couple of kids and try to claim that pic. I call fail on the fake pic. not cool to try and make us 'normal' gals feel poorly about ourselves. what is it that you do with your life? you may look hot in a bikini, but I could save your life. my booty may jiggle, but at least my money maker will never sag and leave me broke and alone!
mz_booty 0
your ok for 63?? lol
mz_booty 0
well I'm here to comment on the fml's so if u want to comment on my pic, be a hater, be rude or waste your time go ahead :)
mz_booty 0
132# I'm normal too... and who's to say I don't have kids either!! I bet your beautiful inside and out and that's all that matters :)
jckbco 0
or you could just believe her
Doortje 30
I suggest taking a shower once in a while.
KCThaEclipse33 0
Nasty A.F. Its Called Soap N Water...AND IN YOUR CASE,Much Of it
ClickMyPicture 0
Ugh. That is terrible. You scarred your daughter for life. At least she will learn from your mistakes(:
leeshaleigh 0
maybe you should see a doctor about your vaginal discharge...