Today, my daughter and husband surprised me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumped back from the hug and said, "Ewwww, smells like fish." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from work to my three year-old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said, "Daddy, smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it? Then she pushed my face into the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML
Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, I started at my new job. My manager, upon meeting me, hugged me and sniffed my neck, then commented that I smelled "natural" and told me how much he loves that. I have to work with this creep until god knows when. FML
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Top comments
petite_amber150 0
gross. wash much?
batman8 0
price check on vagiclean, I repeat, price check on vagiclean
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Comments (202)
lachiasse_fml 0
Well, that is truly the most embarassaging story of all time. I would die of shame if that happened to me!
sculp91 0
bahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
ipfire 0
something smells fishy about this one! LMAO!
sks4613 1
You choices; 1: Move get a new job. Learn to bathe in the future. 2: Don't move and launch yourself off the closest highest roof.
Michigan_Girl 0
WTF! That's gross =
MzKylz 0
it's called soap.. try some :) YDI
eightpack007 7
lmao your gross lady......so are you #32.....I assume you smell like that as well?
5t3ff1k4h 47
Just because you don't like the way she looks, doesn't mean she stinks "down there". Good god... get a grip.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Wash your cooter OP. Even if you're married and your husband doesnt mind, the rest of the world does.
skyeyez9 25
stick one of those tree shaped air freshners down your undies. lol
someone234 5
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL