Today, my daughter and husband surprised me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumped back from the hug and said, "Ewwww, smells like fish." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from work to my three year-old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said, "Daddy, smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it? Then she pushed my face into the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML
Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, I started at my new job. My manager, upon meeting me, hugged me and sniffed my neck, then commented that I smelled "natural" and told me how much he loves that. I have to work with this creep until god knows when. FML
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Top comments
petite_amber150 0
gross. wash much?
batman8 0
price check on vagiclean, I repeat, price check on vagiclean
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Comments (202)
dbao9 0
lol this brings a whole new meaning to the "tuna taco"
matt12866 1
wow you def need to wash down there I hope your not expecting no one to go down there.
xgetxbentx 13
ydi for not having basic hygiene skills...
WillKill4Beer 0
a lil extra cheese on the taco??..... @_@
Soulstar_k 0
idk if i would have posted this
AmericanGirl69 0
but she posted it on anonymous.
QwertyMcNugget 0
Ten dollars says her husband told the little girl to say it, or something like that. Most vaginas aren't going to portrude a smell that awful.
rockyraccoon28 8
oh trust me. they can. I have a friend with a smell down there that I can smell if I'm sitting next to her.
vballcutie08 6
that is nasty.
amazing54 1
86 are you sure you're not talking about yourself? Don't all those stories start off like "I have a friend who..."
5t3ff1k4h 47
123 - She didn't. She started her story with "I have a friend with..." ;)
mleigh87 0
I agree with 86. I know someone who has crotch rot stink 24/7. her mother has to wash or scrub or spray anything she sits on. it's gross.
macskapingvin 0
Well, as long as you work in a fishmonger's shop, that isn't so awkward.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I think it's much more likely that OP actually had some tuna or something drop in her lap. A woman should never smell like actual fish, even if she skipped a shower or two. If OP just stank, the kid would ask what the smell was or a similar query.
nephilim241 19
pwnt
lekiat 0
lol! kids are brutally honest. take a bath!