Today, I joined a dating website for the first time in 12 years and spent an hour carefully crafting my profile. Ten minutes after posting, my sibling texted me screenshots. I’d linked my profile to Facebook, where my bio appeared under my real name for half my extended family. Aunt Linda left a heart reaction. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML
Today, I told my family that I have a girlfriend, and showed them her Facebook. They immediately started taking bets on when I’d mess it up, when she’d dump me, whether she actually existed, if I’d just made a fake Facebook, or whether she was a pro I hired. I hate my siblings. FML
Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
Today, I was looking at dating profiles with my single friend, trying to find a guy for her, and we found my husband's profile. FML
Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend was on a dating website. He came up as an ideal match for my sister. FML
Today, I went on an online date. I'd spent a while getting ready and making sure I looked good. When I arrived at the café, I saw my date and approached with a smile. He stood up, looked me over, and said, "Oh, I thought you were your profile picture’s friend." Then left. FML
Today, I finally met the guy I've been getting to know online in person for a date. When we saw each other, we both realized that we had heavily Facetuned our profile pictures. The awkward silence that followed was the longest five minutes of my life. FML
Today, my sister made her engagement official on Facebook. When I shared the post to spread the word, people didn't read her boyfriend's name, and I started getting questions on why my sister and I were getting married. FML
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