Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3 year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident, then one of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "ASSHOLE!" afterwards. FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop "pretending to be daddy" against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
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Top comments
Scribe_fml 8
Monkey see, monkey do.
nesscafe_fml 17
She is going to be so mortified about it when she is older!
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Comments (110)
BulldogHoops 14
Seriously, OP, you're pretty lucky that's all she saw. She could've seen a whole lot worse. I would imagine she'll get over "honking" people pretty soon.
annie_nk 23
When my niece was 1 1/2, she would smack her hand on my boobs and say "Boobie boobie boobie boobie!" We told her right away not to do that and she stopped within a week.
Bowers25 8
Somebody needs to think a little bit more...
Iknoweverything 29
It totally turns me on when a man honks my boobs... said no woman ever.
clueless05 12
Agreed!
fmljerry26 3
That was my first thought, in what universe is "honking boobs" sexy or even fun?
Neonemerld 21
53, in a universe when you have a sense of humour. It's not meant to be sexy, it's meant to be funny. If OP does indeed find it sexy, I worry for his wellbeing.
CharresBarkrey 16
53 - It's more fun for the guy than the girl, I would imagine.
little_one 20
They were just joking around! Come on people me and my husband do silly things like this all the time the difference (which cause a lot of FML's) is don't do whilst inside your lady.
stoych 19
Beautiful avatar.
angeluv_2014 22
I know, right? I was just thinking there'd be another FML on here... "I was having some sexy time with my husband, when he thought it would be a turn-on to honk my boobs. And, to top it off my three year old saw it! FML"
meagy 6
My brother did that to me when I was young...
BlowinChronic 18
That's uh... Weird.
hulksmash666 5
HONK HONK!!!!
MagicStallion 9
I can imagine if she's three she probably doesn't get very far because she's so small! How could she reach? Lol
pradip 26
She would have everyone to bend over for a surprise, when they do grab their boobs say honk honk.
frottiejoy 7
yeah because who would say no to a three year old who says she's got a surprise for you?
kenleybunch 15
I've learnt in my short years on this earth that children are fascinated with boobies. No matter what gender.
annie_nk 23
Boobs are just that awesome!
newbiehere99 6
36 - perfect picture to go with your comment. :)
Trisha_aus 15
Not only children...
souljacker 11
One of the (many) reasons I dumped my ex was that he said 'honk' every time he grabbed my ****!
qirde_15 5
that's the best legacy you can leave to your daughter, and subsequently, your grandchildren.
perdix 31
You're saying she honked Grandpa's moobs?
PipingMouse 14
I don't think she's tall enough to honk those. She most likely honked whatever was closest to her....
DrewFluIngle 10
Don't go there if you're going where I think you are... 0-0
slapsface 10
No not her moobs his um pen15.