Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3 year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident, then one of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "ASSHOLE!" afterwards. FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop "pretending to be daddy" against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
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Top comments
Scribe_fml 8
Monkey see, monkey do.
nesscafe_fml 17
She is going to be so mortified about it when she is older!
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Comments (110)
perdix 31
Don't be so sure. I still love boobies and am fascinated by nipples and I'm way, way older than four. I'm this many!!!
interesting33 37
Hahaa! This is one of those moments where she will realise when she is older and go "oh why.. just why!?" :P
perdix 31
Please lock the door when you get a *******. No one is going to think your daughter's mimicry is so friggin' cute then.
deequu 20
That's such a turn off. And well, that's going to make a great story when she's older.
pdp_fml 21
How would your 3 y/o be able to see you and your wife doing this?
dead247 13
You walk into the kitchen, grab, and say "honk honk". I say kitchen because that is the only place to really stand.
nancyschmancy 9
PDP, it is called being married and goofing around. Sometimes you do things when children are around, without thinking, especially with the first one.
doglover100 29
She'll be mortified about it when she's older.
AnxietySlave 9
At least she doesn't want to ring the bell by jacking the cord!!
nancyschmancy 9
Is that a trick your dad taught you?
AriasBaast 4
Not gonna lie.... That's pretty awesome. I would've died laughing had I seen that. More of a funny story than an FML.
simoncat 11
What is it with men being so damned immature?boob honking? Really? Ball honking? How would you like it? Idiot.
darkmis1 18
Why do guys think its sexy to do that honk thing? I hate it.