Today, I had a horrible stomach flu and was well into my second hour of dry heaving when I heard my husband knock on the bathroom door. I was touched that he was worried about me, until I heard, "Honey, what did you make for dinner?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML
Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having painful surgery, so I decided to make him a nice big breakfast. As I was taking it up to him, I heard a message on the phone. It was from one of his nurses. She was accepting his offer of a date. FML
Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML
Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Open the bathroom door, point at the toilet, and say, "There's your ******* dinner. Bon appetit, asshole."
perdix 31
"A steaming bowl of RRRRALPH!"
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Comments (76)
CasualZombie 6
YDI for not knowing your place. Don't they have buckets in the kitchen? ;D
CasualZombie 6
oh okay, my comment got moderated because I made a sexist joke, and I was clearly joking. but 21 is perfectly fine.
mystifi 0
cue Women out of the kitchen jokes..
Needzalife8D 0
it better have been sandwiches
nagerllih 0
you don't puke with the stomach flu...just saying. he's still an ass though!
jesuschrisler96 0
You most definitely DO puke with the stomach flu.
audreydeux 1
Yup, you do puke with stomach flu. Puking and fever are two of the main symptoms.
Preston_Brewer 0
leave him lol
Preston_Brewer 0
leave him lol
mutentmeatball 0
they should put a toilet in the kitchen so she could've finished making dinner :d
HippyKat13 7
@72 Sex and cooking? ;) cause that would be sexy
HomeAl0ne 20
"Just dishing up the the minestrrroooooooonnnnne now honey."
krazykiya12095 0
hoooowww in the hell did she deserve that ?
Bobissmall 13
Well obviously she knows her husband, and she should know he is too stupid to work out he has to make his own food. You cannot blame a retard for being retarded now can you?