Today, I had a woman accuse me of trying to steal her husband over the phone, just because I called and asked for him. I'm an interviewer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML
Today, I called the company with whom I had a job interview last week, which I thought went great, but hadn't heard back from. One of the interviewers claimed that I tried to grope her. FML
Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML
Today, an interviewer rang me back, but not to offer me the job. It was to warn me that if my psychotic mother rang him at his home address again trying to bribe and threaten him into giving me the job, then he would call the police and press charges for harassment. FML
Today, a woman came knocking on my door. Not to sell something or to chat, no. To punch me in the mouth. Apparently, I stole her husband and I'm a homewrecker. We don't have a clue who she is. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, and were high school sweethearts. FML
Today, I was accused of being a "racist whore" at work. I'd only asked a man if he needed help finding anything, as that is part of my job. FML
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML
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Top comments
rattusrattus 19
I feel sorry for the guy. Wonder if she's like this all the time? "YOU WERE SERVED BY A FEMALE CASHIER! THAT HUSSY IS GOING TO STEAL YOU FROM ME!!!" "YOU SMILED POLITELY AT A FELLOW DOG WALKER WHO HAPPENED TO HAVE TWO X CHROMOSONES! YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANY MORE!!!" "A WOMAN CALLED AN AMBULANCE FOR YOU AFTER YOU BROKE YOUR ANKLE! YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME WITH HER, AREN'T YOU?! DON'T LIE TO ME!!!" OK, I may be exaggerating. But FY and his L, OP.
RabidBunny 10
So dose the husband not get the job because of the actions of his wife?
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Comments (98)
dillynf39 3
first!!!
MrSassypants 34
And soon modded.
kraine0712 2
So did he get the job?
dummbrunette 0
I would have played along and pretened to be actually trying to steal her husband. then I'd ask for a name and social security number.
Alex94xela 0
he probably got it because op feels sorry for the guy.
kendallhi 9
hang up she's on to you
AbuelaGrande 0
When they call in my pueblo we say What! What! whattttttttt?? zahh the bearded woman!!!! Ayyyye Dios Mio!!!!!
diceplaya 12
Interview Checklist: Crazy Wife [Check]
mynameis1339 0
she took your JJJOOBBB!!! derkaaa doooo!!
baseball6917 8
guessin that fella did not get the job, lol. and the abuelagrande whatever is gettin on my last nerve.
whyXD 13
Then stop trying to steal husbands.
Flamedude101 4
south park much?
RabidBunny 10
So dose the husband not get the job because of the actions of his wife?
Poopolicious 5
just to piss her off further make the interview at night time
baddud300 6
Are you Steve from Sate Farm?
MissCharlotte_fml 26
It's Jake, from State Farm.
Person1233 13
An interviewer? For what? Male prostitution?
virgotomboy83 1
It's for surveying. I am one too while I get my graduate degree and the women are so obnoxious when we ask for their husbands. Some straight up say "I'm his wife,you can't talk to him" or "I'm his wife,who are you". The men also do it and think I'm a some friend of his wife he doesn't know about... Ugh. Seriously,women stop the desperation. It makes you ugly.
flockz 20
no.... horse insemenator.
iAmScrubs 19
It all depends on what your husband was being interviewed for.
iAmScrubs 19
I have read the FML again and realised that I interpreted it wrong the first time. Allow me to switch the "your" to a "her".
agentx52 13
6- What he was being interviewed for was irrelevant. She called, asked for the woman's husband, and the woman flipped out.
iAmScrubs 19
I comprehended the FML perfectly fine. You just failed to comprehend what my comment actually means for whatever reason.
melchibr_fml 0
protective women are smart. she has every right to question why you're calling.
rostron71 3
Err . . . no, she's mentally unstable
fckdupzf 0
questioning and accusing are two different things
MrSassypants 34
-_- I'm guessing you're one of them aren't you?
fckdupzf 0
14- i see a clear possibility
StudMuffinette 17
Sorry bro, but protective women are some of the craziest psychos on the earth.
niplipsip 9
29, I agree. I remember getting harassed over the phone by one of them when I was 13. Funny as hell, but pretty disturbing.
misomalu 0
Um no, your a moron, my mom and dad have been together 20 years, and my mom doesn't get mad when a women calls for my dad, stable people understand that it's perfectly natural to have relationships with people of the opposite sex without cheating
fckdupzf 0
my my.. these type of idiots dnt wana hear the other side of the stry..thy just keep on barking! I feel sorry fr her husband..he gets to face all the embarrassment cz of her
MrSassypants 34
U jus tempted da grammar natzis 8)
dreamering 16
I feel sorry for you, dumbass.
fckdupzf 0
19- yes!:/
fckdupzf 0
21- Aww..u made me so emotional:P
mismonroe 0
I feel like a dumbass when I have to read slowly and sound out all the misspellings. boo.
HannahForbesxo 13
10- I want to hit people like you with such awful grammar over the head repeatedly with a grammar book/dictionary to try and knock it into you.
fckdupzf 0
u guys need to stop reading it thn. y do u care to read and thn comment on it
HannahForbesxo 13
We read it to test out powers of evaluation and deduction trying to figure out what you're trying to say and we comment because the situation of your awful spelling/grammar needs to be addressed. Why is it so hard to spell everything out? I mean it only takes literally about two seconds to actually type out "you" instead of just "u". It makes your comment easier to read and seem more intelligent.
fckdupzf 0
lol..u or you. cant believe u are still stuck there. are u here to rectify things? doesn't make a difference to me. besides it's Fml where I do not really care. And writing 'fml' becomes all cool and appropriate. Fair enough Moreover u need to realize that here people from around the world can comment. They have different languages and might not write the way u expect them to write.
HannahForbesxo 13
Not gonna lie, I barely understand any of that first part, I don't even think Doc's idiot-translator could figure that out. No I'm not really trying to rectify anything, I'm trying to explain how good grammar can be important and make sentences make sense. Also, there are apps and websites for this in other languages for these people who speak a different language to comment on. You seem perfectly able to me to be able to write things out properly but are just too lazy to do so.
fckdupzf 0
u expect people to refer to a website or an app while commenting on an 'fml'? Aaaa..ohkay (difficult to digest) take it easy. it's not some school assignment or a business letter we are talking about. anyway, it's ur point of view. cool with me.
fckdupzf 0
btw I agreed with 19 way before your comment.
HannahForbesxo 13
No, I meant for them to comment on that website, since that's what it's made for. If they have trouble speaking/understanding the language then fair enough, I'm sure they'll make mistakes in their comments but I doubt it'll be out of sheer laziness. Sound, do what you want, it's just my opinion and you have yours.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
So, your man-stealing plans were foiled.
itsnick21 0
how does that make YOUR life suck?
specialop24 0
Wow, can someone say paranoia?
Jacobt24 19
Yes. Paranoia
Raivyn_Grimm 9
Pah-ruh-NOH-you? Did I say it right?