Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date said, "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML
Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't that bad if you think about it." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML
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Top comments
mikemalk123 0
Wow, got yourself a real winner there, apparently he's not quite as brilliant as he thinks you are... Not so sure if I'd say FYL or YDI, but it's funny all the same
uHazFailedTotall 0
He's a keeper, no doubt.
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Comments (226)
AXavierB 1
Aside from the "most girls aren't" part, that is freaking hilarious. He's got a sense of humor; it's a good thing. Still, probably not the best thing to say on the first date.
Sdelta 0
#192, most girls are dysfunctional, what are you talking about? Reading all these FML's only confirm this.
S_T_F_U 0
#22 is a fukn fag.
RogerMoore 0
awwww... how cute. Admit it, that guy is funny. You're missing out if you don't give him another chance
Rejectofsociety9 0
OP is so smart that she can't spell cheque.
irbenson 0
It can be spelled check...
manda980 0
61- don't be such a dick
ash1986 0
I dunno, I kinda think that calls for using teeth...
aarontheawesome 0
LOL!
tdurden 0
NICE!!! he's right he's a keeper!!!
Poepiepiesie 3
Purely awesome, sad that he hurted you but still awesome.
saxman45 0
He's a real smooth talker...