Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date said, "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML
Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't that bad if you think about it." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML
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Top comments
mikemalk123 0
Wow, got yourself a real winner there, apparently he's not quite as brilliant as he thinks you are... Not so sure if I'd say FYL or YDI, but it's funny all the same
uHazFailedTotall 0
He's a keeper, no doubt.
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Comments (226)
tgm0112 0
That was very likely a terrible joke, but this guy is in dire need of a game change. Does he think that might be a witty thing to say? FYL
smurf1 0
wow, well some guys are like that and very sexist but not ALL guys. You have to remember to give the good ones out of the bunch their credit. Keep looking and a nice guy will show up eventualy. good luck OP.
urmom5face 0
No, no, here's the correct response to that: "after you pull your dick out of my face, my reply actually will be..." *drink water* *spit it out on his lap*
emilysexi3793 0
61 ur stupid it's spelled sammich
pinktrapdoor 0
I love how he prefaces it with "not to be rude" :D
mistyshaiah 3
Not to be rude, but he had a good point.
Grenades101 0
I thought women wanted honesty? Go to your ***** friends if you want sensitivity.
Leetswaglordmaybe2 9
he's right.
LeftyPitcher 0
19 ur probally the blind date can see why ur blind cuz u ugly as hell
matt643 0
he seems nice:)