Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my boyfriend's mother still calls his ex-girlfriend her "future daughter-in-law". FML
Today, my mum met my amazing new girlfriend, but later said she'd probably cheat on me. She had correctly foreseen my ex would get pregnant against my will, take the child away, and sue for support, which I didn't believe back then. What should I do now? FML
Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "Oh, like you're responsible for a whole family!" She is. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the, "I know I'm not your mother…" speech. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Today, my mom came to me, hysterically crying that her boyfriend had hit and choked her. I’d feel bad for her except he’s my ex who also beat me, yet when I turned to my mother for help she decided to take him in instead and get pregnant with his kid. What goes around comes around bitch! FML
Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML
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Top comments
faerieworld 1
Relax. It just means if you hurt the daughter her mother will gouge your eyes out with her sharp beak and talons.
phoenixslayer69 4
Run and hide!
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Comments (167)
phoenixslayer69 4
Run and hide!
evamusical 12
F Your ex-girlfriends life.. If my mum did that...
ceilingfans 1
I'm fluffy
howdmynosego 12
Lock your doors board up all your windows and sit on a rocking chair with a shotgun!!
murlocholmes 5
Man I miss Chicklets.... What ever happened to those little square gums...?
angry_anonymous 5
They still sell them in Canada, I saw some the other day.
You_Need_Soap 6
Rooster went pecking around the wrong hen house. Nosey parents suck!
Damn_Hippster 11
I'd be scared too. She sounds like a psycho killer.
EvilPotato 15
Call a chickens natural enemy, Bears.
Blueglasscup 18
Was I the only who thought OP and the mom were referring to OP's baby daughter?
changesinme 0
I know their weakness... Colonel Sanders!
n_epic_fail 14
Then I suggest u call up your plastic surgeon and tell him/her you might be coming in for a surprise visit within the next month.
SpruceDread4578 13
54- I thought the same. Read it twice just to understand it correctly.
6tori6 5
I'm pretty sure for your future, it means your screwed.
SxeDaze 13
***** about to get real OP, FYL indeed.
ifinsane 6
No yell her that if she messes with the bull shell get the horns
elementalz 2
118 are talking about the horns sexually or like the old saying meaning
RavenRiley007 4
it means that she'll kick your ass sunny side up and then fry you
afulks78 11
Oh god, she's a Physco
Flutequeen 0
Run Forrest Run!
btnhdude 0
What would your last words have been? Ruun Bitch! Ruuun!
MrPhucked 0
i assuming your spell check kicked in again
heyred 11
Psycho?
IntoTheClouds 42
As did your grammar check, 31.
Rob777 0
If you thought the zombie apocalypse was bad, you've got another thing coming.
BB_ava 0
46, that's a spell-check, not a grammar check.
gntfmlingnow 12
75 & 80 Grammar is correct, minus the capital P. Psycho is spelled wrong, however. Now both of you stop acting like grammar nazis, because you both failed.
shireeniee 8
On the contrary - 80 is quite right. 75, on the other hand.. S/he probably misunderstood.
robertlovespi 3
94 the girl thought "wat" was the correct spelling for 'what' in another comment section. That's why everyone is giving her a hard time.
gntfmlingnow 12
You mad bro?
BB_ava 0
My mistake. 46 was referring to 31's statement. I see now.
gntfmlingnow 12
Getting mad at a troll means they win. So it indeed seems again as though you were the one who failed. *trollfaic*
gntfmlingnow 12
Your exact words were "now **** off", and you ended the sentence with a nice pile of sarcasm. Those tend to be signs of a "you mad bro?" moment.
RuskiManBearPig 4
22 amazing scary movie reference
sunshinesmile86 0
Omg u have must of done something wrong or she told her mom something bad
Savra_fml 17
Sounds more like an over-protective mother puting her nose in her baby girls' business. If she is old enough to date, she doesn't need her mommy to deal with the ex-boyfriend.
Blackmail111 9
If that's the case then mother hen needs to meet the **** of the barn
Random_ChickXD 0
Nah, really? -_-
faerieworld 1
Relax. It just means if you hurt the daughter her mother will gouge your eyes out with her sharp beak and talons.
Buttsexpirate 9
You should call the fantastic Mr. Fox. He goes insane for hens. Also it could be worse, she could've been a bull and given you the horns.
markrs 0
Hide yo' kids. Hide yo' wife.
sideshowIFG 0
The only problem is he said "ex". He has already done the harm and momma is pissed! Hide under a rock I heard that works.
iloveladies 1
No reason to worry at all
Palirose 22
It means she's going to do something drastic. I suggest a restraining order can fix all of that. Lol
thisisafunnyname 12
nope, it means don't steal her gum
CryMoreFMLs 15
What does stealing gum have to do with this?
japtch 15
Chicklets = gum
Palirose 22
67... I just want to let you know that your picture scares my inner child....and gives me nightmares.
AndreKanaan 6
Means your going to get boned by momma hen for screwing around with her chicklet
Ilikeurfmls 13
What you must find out now, is what came first the chicken or the egg? Once you have the answer you will have to take a long journey through some forests. Enjoy!
saIty 17
Uh oh, you better get ready for a battle with a crazy chick in a chicken suit.
xXPurpl3Xx 0
BITCHES BE CRAZY!
davidbtall 1
I thing she wants a 3 some?
btnhdude 0
You think so? If someone beat you with a baseball bat You'd probably think that person would want to be best friends with you.
davidbtall 1
Dumb ass!
btnhdude 0
If I'm a dumb ass then you're a giraffe that has the ability to fly and communicate with humans.
danishbagel 3
Threesome is not the answer to everything, you testosterone-filled gorilla.
davidbtall 1
No but it was funny! & you are still a dumb ass!
PeteyPablo12308 20
Hmm.. No I'm afraid it wasn't funny. Not even a smidgen.
davidbtall 1
Then you have no sense of humor!
DocBastard 40
DavidTBall - I see that you're new here, so allow me to give you a bit of advice. If you have to defend your own comment by assuring people that it's funny while calling other people dumbasses for thinking it isn't, then it isn't. Move on, son.
rattusrattus 19
1. Davidbtall, I doubt you've ever communicated with human beings on a meaningful level if you think violent threats = threesomes, and you should probably get some social skills training. 2. Listen to DocBastard, he knows what he's talking about. 3. Having a threesome based off threats of violence is beyond kinky.
bretty_boieeeeyy 0
If it was so funny why are all your comments thumbed down?
kewlkate 9
Actually, it made me loose braincells
False_Stupidity 42
Actually, the term 'mess with' can be used in a non-violent sense, though since OP recently dumped the chicklet, this is unlikely to be the case.
MedChew 19
Scared? You're not chicken yourself are you?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Parents, like the Girlfriend's parents, are willing to do some crazy shit to anyone. My 2nd girlfriend had an overprotective military dad. I know this from experience.