Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
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Top comments
maurambie 9
People who believe everyone is evil.
marinus_fml 20
OP did ask him/herself that; along with everyone on fml, in the form of a rhetorical question.
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Comments (185)
Tyger44 1
Helping others never helps you
aligiorav 11
And we should only do something if its for our personal gain right?
MikeMorin18 4
Really? I save peoples lives for a living. They are incredibly grateful. Their thanks is enough and I refuse to take money and gifts because I'm an honest person. Think about what you say before you plaster generalizations on the comment board.
BelleBelle_fml 11
I'm a nurse and I am constantly helping others. They are so grateful that someone actually cares enough to help them. Nursing is the most rewarding profession simply because I care, and when I see my patients feeling better, it gives you a feeling like no other! That's why I became a nurse! If that's how you feel about helping others, then when you are sick, dying, or in pain, maybe I should just tell you what you just said about helping others, and not give you any Morphine.
JMTS 0
78 - I want to be a firefighter when I grow up. :D
ThogTheCaveman 7
Let me rephrase his blanket statement: helping people when they don't think they need it brings trouble. Most people don't think they need help and don't want it. I salute the firefighter and nurse for helping others and am surprised that you're on FML; normally it's extraordinarily jaded people like the above commenter.
JurassicHole 5
Apparently it's come to old ladies wanting to shove umbrellas up the asses of "would-be good Samaritans". Better question is, what would've happened if you tried to help her cross the street?
trollsemen 8
Sorry about this comment darn lag on iPod, thumb this down or whatever. Sorry D:
krysxkatastrophe 14
As an older woman she knows she's more vulnerable to theft because an unhonest person would take advantage of that she may not see or hear well. She was just protecting her stuff.
EnterNameHere001 5
its not like OP tried to runaway or something probably just bent down picked up the purse and then started to hand it to old lady when attack of the senior citizens starts showing starring the anal umbrella.
tsim_fml 0
You really have to swear? Rediculous.
rallets 23
umadbro?
aligiorav 11
uretardedbro?
rallets 23
nahbrah
KiddNYC1O 22
What's your point, #16? The site is concentrated around the king of swear words- ****. You swore in your "About Me" section. If your comment was sarcasm, needs work.
aligiorav 11
Where did rallets' comment go? (which is what i replied to)
rallets 23
they delete me lol looks like they mad and retarded :/
EmmyBabe_fml 0
You really can't spell?! ... That's "rediculous"
CryMoreFMLs 15
I like how he only wants cute girls to message him. ******* self-centered, whoremongering pig. Yes, I went there. Low blow? I think not.
farmboy10 0
Hypocrite....u can't spell and those cute girls don't like dumbass hypocrites lol
ohmandapants 17
Awww was the word **** too much for the poor little baby's virgin eyes? Grow up. You're on **** my life dot com. And you clearly don't belong here. You're RIDICULOUS.
xleanne_aLly 23
**** **** **** **** ****.
skyeyez9 25
In my expierence, Mormons get uptight about cussing. They like to 'replace' cusswords with stupid words: "What the **** are you doing?" Turns into "What the word, frap, fruit, (insert any other ridiculous word to replace ****) are you doing?" And they make a big deal when they hear non mormons cuss.
tsim_fml 0
99 - ahahahah this is crazy yall be gettin all pissed off coz i said one lil thing. ight ight ight ill give u sum props but ur right i dont belong here coz im not twisted and ****** up like youu. just you, not the other users, just you. bitch
tsim_fml 0
87- its a joke u **** i aint gon be messaging anyone on this website
ohmandapants 17
You filthy hypocrite! Swearing! And BTW, it's: *it's *you *I WON'T be messaging anyone on this website.
assanater601 2
wow
sciencekidster1 8
Excuse me Sweater Vest, go correct someone else?
ohmandapants 17
First if all, get a better insult. Second of all, how about no? The guy's an idiot and it gave me great pleasure to point it out.
Shadow_Blues 10
Perhaps it would've been better for you if you'd said, "Oh, let me get that for you," or something similar before acting. Either way, owch! Hope you're better. :P
MangoRico1 1
Maybe you should have not taken the money out before giving it back in front of her
BrittanyB94 0
That's ssssoooo funny haha
BelleBelle_fml 11
That was ssssoooo annoying haha
Isoldael 27
At least you get to feel good about trying to help. Don't let modern day society bring you down, you're not alone :o)
marinus_fml 20
#27 what's your point?