Today, my girlfriend brought home her fourteenth effing Stanley Cup thermos cup contraption thing. They are taking over our tiny apartment. I can't deal with this madness. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend is still mad at me because I got a MINISO cup and she doesn't have one. I was actually given that mug yesterday as a prize for working the extra hours I was forced to do last week without getting paid. FML
Today, we ended the night with a yellow jacket queen trying to make a home in our apartment's kitchen. FML
Today, I found out the little blue thing that my roommate has been sterilizing by boiling in our shared coffee maker, is a menstrual cup. FML
Today, I washed all the dishes and cups from the family dinner last night and put them away. When my wife saw, she had a mini OCD breakdown and yelled at me because the cups weren't lined up with each other with the handles aligned and the flower pictures facing out left. FML
Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML
Today, my wife can barely contain her rage at me for throwing out her collection of unique glass bottles, which she was saving for gifting and decoration. I'd feel more guilt if she hadn't been storing them in a box underneath our sink mixed with recyclables. FML
Today, I walked out the bathroom and saw my girlfriend peeing in a mug. She said that's the mug she uses when she can't hold it anymore. That's the mug I put my coffee in every morning. FML
Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
If you ever want to drink out of a Stanley Cup, make sure it’s the one you win for playing hockey. The other one contains lead.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I don't get the appeal of those things. They've been around forever, but suddenly their popularity has soared and people are going nuts over them. I'll just keep my Bubbas, thanks. Regardless of her thermos choice, 14 is very excessive... even if she used a different one every day, that would be to many. Sounds like she has an addiction.
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Comments (3)
poopface82 25
If you ever want to drink out of a Stanley Cup, make sure it’s the one you win for playing hockey. The other one contains lead.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I don't get the appeal of those things. They've been around forever, but suddenly their popularity has soared and people are going nuts over them. I'll just keep my Bubbas, thanks. Regardless of her thermos choice, 14 is very excessive... even if she used a different one every day, that would be to many. Sounds like she has an addiction.
dreams2383 20
just wait. she will be over them in a few months when the hype is over and all the thrift stores will be stuffed with them.