Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to get something out of a vending machine. It got stuck. I tried getting something else to knock it down. That got stuck too. I tried a third time… take a wild guess. One massive tirade later, someone came and tried to help me out. Stuck. Four times in a row. How is that even possible? FML
Today, I used the last of my money to buy a bag of vending machine chips for dinner. It got stuck. A passerby saw and generously offered to buy another bag of the same chips to dislodge it. Gratefully, I accepted his offer. It stayed stuck. FML
Today, I spent way too long battling a vending machine that ate my dollar but didn’t give me my snack. After shaking it, kicking it, and practically hugging it, I finally gave up. As I walked away in defeat, it dropped the snack. I rushed back to claim my prize… and the janitor grabbed it before I could. FML
Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML
Today, at a local mini mart, I tried several times to open a door that clearly said "PUSH" by pulling it, much to the amusement to the customers and staff inside. FML
Today, as a joke, my friend put my bus money in the vending machine. Not only did the machine not return my money, it wouldn't give me an item in return. FML
Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML
Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML
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Top comments
giantsofeast 2
lol you remind me of homer Simpson
schwiggidy 0
when it don't fit in the slot, harder! harder!
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Comments (105)
schwiggidy 0
when it don't fit in the slot, harder! harder!
Abby133 14
I see what you did there.
Phustercluck 11
+1 for creeper pic
MaximilianMarche 0
how'd op type the fml if both hands were stuck in the vending machine lol
konjaman 0
You are rape ready!
harry_potter_luv 0
that's what she said
breena25 0
ha!
Allforthelawlz 0
minecraft!!!!!!
DarkHelmet 10
are u a retard?
I_R_Genius 3
Are you retarded for not spelling out 'you'?
iiTzPokemon 4
Yeah this coming from I R Genuis..? Are you retarded for not writing are ?
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Touché.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
I did this once except it wasn't my hands it was my penis. and it wasn't a vending machine it has Whitney Houston's vajajay
NuyoRicanGirl 3
use your foot now :-p
LifeSucksbtw 0
wutz u smukin on I r geonous! stup smukin crick cokain
LifeSucksbtw 0
wut r u smukkin on ir genus! stup smukinn cruk cockain
I_R_Genius 3
#30, If you're going to insult me, atleast spell 'genius' right. I take it you never heard of irony? That's why my name is spelled like that dumbass.
iiTzPokemon 4
Suck it. So you read this FML, then made your account with that name so you could make an ironic comment ?
I_R_Genius 3
Actually, I've had my account way longer then you have. Please read the rules on the FAQ because you try and insult someone over the internet. Thank you and have a nice day.
Pawned71 0
I don't think he is retarded I think he needs to stop eating
kei1108 13
Commencing stupid FML fight in... 3...2...1... P.S. Stop calling people 'retards' or "retarded" when you mean stupid or idiotic.
schwiggidy 0
when it don't fit in the slot, harder! harder!
thwei 0
rofl
breena25 0
FK
giantsofeast 2
lol you remind me of homer Simpson
insanesna1l 0
let go of the can!
WorldRallyXtreme 9
but arms grow back again, don't they?
breena25 0
if both of it hands r stuck, then how r u typing this fml?
loganator50 3
Doh!
harviss12 8
haha noob
Lila_244 0
Haha
sweet_candy_ 17
Wow op all that for an m&m
Phustercluck 11
I don't see the big deal about Klondike Bars, it's just a generic vanilla ice cream with a chocolate shell.
peachezthelette 22
And it's amazing how you're typing..
allmidnighteyes 11
Because all FMLs are submitted the very second they happen. It couldn't possibly be that this happened earlier in the day, earlier in the week, earlier in the month, or even in the future! It couldn't possibly be that every FML has to start with "Today," regardless of its time of occurrence.
EpicPear 0
dang I thought it was because after they got over it they submit it. I guess I was wrong. :(
EpicPear 0
dang I thought it was because after they got over it they submit it. I guess I was wrong. :(
nikki9tails 3
you know what would have been funnier, if you got your iPhone stuck in the vending machine and you were writing this fml bored waiting to be saved lol
atomicbaboon 0
yes.