Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML
Today, I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room, stating my wife was in labour. My wife and I split years ago, but just haven't divorced. She's been telling everyone I'm the baby's father. My current girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my child. FML
Today I saved my wife's puppy from drowning in an icy pond and I ended up in the ER struggling to breath from the water in my lungs. When my wife showed up to see me, I caught her flirting with my doctor. FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML
Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML
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Top comments
Lizardgirl 7
I can't help but feel bad for OP's wife too. The poor woman must be full of hormones and is probably on an emotional rollercoaster right now.
BeccaHugs 17
I sympathize with her: dogs that bark for hours on end are incredibly annoying and frustrating. But think of it this way: if your wife had not called you, eventually your neighbours would have.
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Comments (136)
vagrandma 5
You have to be understanding with pregnant women! It may have seemed like an emergency to her, especially if she's sick!
Raesin 21
Pregnancy is a sickness now? lol
lndala 15
#76 means that the wife could have morning sickness or something similar. Quite common in a pregnancy.
anthym 2
Who the **** uses pagers in the year 2013?
sierra142 19
I know a few doctors that do. Other than that I am unsure.
Lonus 9
Is she pregnant?
lincolnick4 19
you just have to be a little more understanding towards her
Myo_fml 20
Once a woman is pregnant, the hormones can do some crazy things. Something that's nothing can suddenly be armageddon.
yzzami 17
Was just about to say this. And if its their first time, they're probably especially distraught because its new and they arent 100% sure what is going on with their bodies
c4rpi0 20
At least you got to leave early from work tho
adam_tajyar 10
I get that's she's pregnant, and emotional but getting ur husband to come is dumb if he has boss that's not understanding and could potentially fire him for just leaving work. She needs to suck it up
Fassholes21 6
aweeee
Chanty1749 1
I can sympathize with OP's wife. I'm currently 9 months pregnant and I often feel like I don't have control over my emotions or my body. I've had a few ridiculous meltdowns myself. It's al so worth mentioning that OP's wife paged him, he could of called her at home before rushing back.