Hello?
Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML
Top comments
cparrenas 3
I feel bad for the homeless guy.
noshatsherlockk 15
At least he's trying to make something of himself.
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Comments (67)
cnorris31 2
A karate chop to the throat would of handle that situation
noshatsherlockk 15
I was going to be a smartass until I saw your username..
SkoomaKi 28
It's Bruce Lee you should be afraid of, after all he did kick Chuck's ass ;D
olpally 33
I thumbed him up because of his profile pic and username... Don't mess with chuck Norris, he'll punch you in the face... :D but seriously... Just be nice op, at least he's doing something for himself and trying to make a living...
aylard 0
You're still a dick for saying that. Username or not.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Is it just me or was this worded brilliantly? To me, the way it was worded made it even funnier.
False_Stupidity 42
Not just you, the OP did word this in a very lovely way.
gracehi 33
Should have thrown "the face" his way. He would NOT want your dollar anymore.
xxcloboxx 1
I feel sorry for the homeless guy, if you bought it MAYBE he would of got some new clothes and food with that money... But then again... He could go off and just buy some drugs.....
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"urine and rotten flesh" .... The Zombie Hobos are rising. Don't fall for his lies, OP! he wants your brains! ...and your money. And some clothes.
CaramelMacchiato 13
And is in desperate need for a shower. ...and somewhere to sleep. Because, y'know, even Zombie Hobos need to freshen up.
MakeTodayADTR 20
Haha I guess the whole "bath salts" thing was a just a cover up eh?
eatsleepsinglove 4
At least he was trying to earn money, doing the best he could, unlike the other homeless people that just stand on the side of the road. You should have bought it, or at least not be rude about it.
NicollieOlliO 0
Couldn't agree more!
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Give him some food? Not money. God knows what that'll be used for...how do you know he was homeless, and not just scruffy?
bananagrams 9
Wouldn't you rather have given him benefit of the doubt?
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I'm not supporting a habit. Instead, I'll procure supplies for them. I'm sure they'd rather be handed hot food than have to go in and face judgmental stares an pointing children in a fast food restaurant.
bananagrams 9
They could use the drive thru
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Of course. With their super ******* awesome Ferrari.
hottiewitdamesse 8
Honey, if you're going to try using big words, use them grammatically correct. As for the homeless man, poor guy. I would have bought something!
Shrike 24
The OP's grammar is fine, unlike yours. "Grammatically correct"? Really? In your sentence, it should be "grammatically correctly". Oh, and if you think any of his words are "big", you must still be in middle school.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
One mistake doesn't mean ALL her grammar is bad. I've heard plenty of well-educated people refer to something as "grammatically correct" or "politically correct".
Shrike 24
That's because in those examples, it's correct. In #25's sentence however, the adverb form is called for. Your "ditzy teen" routine is getting pretty old, Kendal.
olpally 33
The mods take care of spelling and grammatical errors before the FML is published... Idiot.
CaramelMacchiato 13
61 - Yes, but mods are human and sometimes miss things, too. A few times commenters will point out mistakes and they'll go back and fix it! :')
Sirin_fml 47
I'm actually a very sarcastic unicorn. Not a lot of people know that.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
53- Hey, I'm nothing but ditzy. I've skipped a grade and am taking advanced engineering classes. Watch it, bud. And don't look down on me because of my age. So what, I may have less years than you. But I'm an equal. And I'm pretty sure my IQ may be higher than yours. And I'm damn sure more mature than most people my age.
Shrike 24
"I'm nothing but ditzy"? Gee, thanks for agreeing with me, I guess.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I meant anything. It's a little hard typing and holding an "attentive" conversation. And maybe if you'd read past the first sentence, you'd know I didn't mean that because of the fact that I gave you many reasons supporting the fact that I'm FAR from ditzy. Ditzy people don't become engineers, love.
Shrike 24
I did read past it, but there was so much immaturity and blatantly bogus claims that I just summarily dismissed it all for your own sake. If you're the best representative of your generation, I can see why some people think that the world is on its deathbed. Good night, "love".
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
You don't know ANYTHING about me. And if you want proof of everything I said, I'd be overjoyed...no...ELATED to supply you with adequate proof. And how would I be going to the tenth grade at 14 and taking college level engineering classes if I was ditzy, hm? I'd love to hear how much of a failure your high school career was/still is. Aw hell, I have nothing to prove to a person in their late-twenties more than likely sitting in his mother's basement attempting to harass a 14 year old through a screen. Oh, look at you! You're just the epitome of mature, aren't you?
Timmeeh 17
I have no idea [what my IQ is]. People who boast about their IQ are losers. - Stephen Hawking Boasting about vague achievements on the Internet is not an endearing quality. The wider point is that when you play grammar police, failing to have perfect grammar (especially when what you're supposedly correcting is, indeed, without error) will inevitably result in a verbal dog pile.
gracehi 33
Oh, Kendal. *sigh* For all your self proclaimed intelligence, you seem to lack the wisdom to know that when a stranger anonymously insults your intelligence on the internet, the best thing to do is to just tell to them to go **** themselves.
CaramelMacchiato 13
I think all of this was just a misunderstanding and you guys are fighting for no reason.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
And I'm not sure why everyone is ganging up on me. I mean, come on. Shrike or whoever's profile said he's 29. He's more than twice my age. Why aren't you all bitching to him? And I'm not boasting. I was proving the fact that I'm not ditzy. And he was out of place for calling me a ditz, anyway.
alissa222 15
There is nothing mature or intelligent about fighting on the internet. Both of you need to calm your shit
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I'm fine with that, but obviously Shrike felt like picking a fight. I guess I did kind of fuel their fire.
SolanumX 6
Yeah... Hey, I know I'm late to the fight or whatever we've decided we're gonna call it, but to agree with the person that quoted Stephen Hawking: IQ is simply a measure of how quick you are to learn. A guy with an IQ of 130 (Technical but not MENSA genius) can learn and achieve more than someone with an IQ of 165. Its all completely dependent of how much exposure a given person has to information. And, if we are talking (or thinking rather) of the same 10th grade Engineering classes, they aren't particularly difficult. The real prodigies of our generation (engineering and otherwise) are out there as engineers (or whatever they geared up to be) already.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I just said that I'm taking ADVANCED engineering classes. Which means they're above grade level. And hey, at my age I'm not supposed to be too far into high school yet. And I wouldn't have ever stated this if my intelligence hadn't been in question.
SolanumX 6
Hubris certainly is a powerful motivator!
Xcherrypie 16
Hubris is an amazing word that I had lost. Thank you sir!
emilymcmasters22 0
He can't help he stinks. That's kinda what happens when you don't have a shower. Buy the metal and he'll leave.
emilymcmasters22 0
Seriously. It should be F his life.