Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I had to take a delivery to a known hoarder. I was braced for the sight of the house, but not the naked fat guy and the smell of dead cat when he answered the door. To top it off, they didn't even tip me. FML
Today, I answered the door at my boyfriend's house to an obese woman, who looked and smelled homeless, and rudely tried to barge past me to get inside. I told her to get out or I’d call the police. My boyfriend behind me saw this disgusting woman and said those two awful words: “Hi Mom.” FML
Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML
Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML
Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML
Today, I was accosted by an angry homeless man at the recycling center, since I refused to give him my saved up bottles and cans. He insisted that he needed it more and I was "poaching his turf". I needed the recycling to put gas in my car, just to make it to work and hope I could make it back home. FML
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cparrenas 3
I feel bad for the homeless guy.
noshatsherlockk 15
At least he's trying to make something of himself.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (67)
LuckyLynx7732 5
Every homeless person knows if you have scrap metal you don't go door to door. You take it to the recycling center and get paid. And no I'm not ripping on homeless people, I'm speaking from experience.
paraReborn68 1
"oh a poor homeless guy just practically desperately begged me for a few bucks at my doorstep, better get on FML"
SoaRSniping 1
**** your life...
noisebox 1
In the future I would look first to see who it is and if it is a living zombie don't answer
Tuffay 14
You poor thing... You had to actually deal with another human being. Oh, the Horror!
charvisioku 22
Poor bloke :( Hope he managed to sell some of it.
woeisme134 0
how much was he selling it for?
nirenna 6
Maybe instead of complaining about how much YOUR life sucks, you should be thankful that you at least have a home, unlike him.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
Oh yes, f your life, because life sucks SO bad when you have to deal with other people trying to sell things to you to stay alive for another day. Just give him a dollar and tell him you don't want the scrap metal, geez...
thehipster 3
Why Is this bad for u? I feel worse for the homeless guy!!
greeneye_fml 12
Then maybe instead of complaining you should PM him your address so he can buy the homeless guy a bus ticket to your house.