Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I had to take a delivery to a known hoarder. I was braced for the sight of the house, but not the naked fat guy and the smell of dead cat when he answered the door. To top it off, they didn't even tip me. FML
Today, I answered the door at my boyfriend's house to an obese woman, who looked and smelled homeless, and rudely tried to barge past me to get inside. I told her to get out or I’d call the police. My boyfriend behind me saw this disgusting woman and said those two awful words: “Hi Mom.” FML
Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML
Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML
Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML
Today, I was accosted by an angry homeless man at the recycling center, since I refused to give him my saved up bottles and cans. He insisted that he needed it more and I was "poaching his turf". I needed the recycling to put gas in my car, just to make it to work and hope I could make it back home. FML
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML
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Top comments
cparrenas 3
I feel bad for the homeless guy.
noshatsherlockk 15
At least he's trying to make something of himself.
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Comments (67)
NicollieOlliO 0
Give him a dollar, but don't take his "gift"
mangoqueen 8
This is the most ridiculous and melodramatic FML I have ever read. Yeah, dude. FYL. It must be so horrible for you to have to smell a homeless person. I feel so sorry for you. Asshole.
themarshal_fml 6
Today, I was going door to door selling gizmos. One dude answered his door with a look like he had a whiff of bigfoot's dick. Damnit Sex Panther! Why does this have to be the other 40% of the time? FML
perdix 31
Knock, knock. Who's there? Ya see how that works? Knock, knock. Who's there? Control freak. . . Now, here's the part where you say, "Control freak who?"
Mr_Que_Dijo23 5
The homeless guy should Keep that metal in case someone on "bath salts" tries to eat him!
ICastillo 25
Man you should of did him a favor and just sprayed him with the water hose. Give him a free shower.
3rdbass 9
Well don't just stand there, offer them a sandwhich to take with them or water.
dellis44 7
did you become a patron of his endeavours?
hama806 19
Door to door begging. Beautiful. You should have given him some cash and then closed your door. Problem solved.
zarnack21 3
You know, a lot of people are avoiding the obvious which is he might buy drugs or alcohol. I know where I live, drug and alcohol abuse is the leading cause of homelessness
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I pointed that out on several comments, but I was thumbed down to damnation.
littlexlion 4
Maybe you were "thumbed down to damnation" because you kept repeating yourself. I am sure we understood you the first 4 times.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
For one, it was on a different comment each time. And if people are repeating themselves with opinions opposing mine, why is it that I can't repeat mine more than twice? And I was thumbed down the first time I said it. I get thumbed down for basically breathing on here, apparently. I always see shitty comments getting thumbed up, but when people actually put some thought into it, they're thumbed down.
pennies_lane 6
Hey KendalL... sssshhhh now
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Hey...137...**** off, kindly, sir or ma'am. :D
pennies_lane 6
just sssshhhh
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
No, ma'am. After you.
Timmeeh 17
That's because it's exceedingly judgemental. Is there a higher percentage of alcoholism and drug addiction among the homeless? I've not seen any research, but anecdotal evidence suggests that it's likely (and I would propose that homelessness is the precipitating factor for developing an addiction in most cases, rather than the other way around). Does that make it right to tar every homeless person with the same brush? Of course not. It's a strange prejudice which survives on mostly unnoticed (I assume because unlike race, gender or sexuality it's not generally something you're born into), but did you stop and think that, when looking at such a person, rather than thinking "homeless... probably an addict!" you should be considering the individual? It's a little basic human decency to form your opinion of people based on their personality, not their demographic. Now, I'm not suggesting a naive approach; if any individual has eyes as wide as saucers, or smells of alcohol to an extent that suggests they'd probably be combustible, take the appropriate action... in this case, that would probably be taking that £5 (or equivalent currency) and buying the person a sandwich... but to suggest that an entire demographic are addicts, well, it's lacking a certain amount of compassion and sensitivity. I would suggest that you're being down-voted for your prejudice, not your repetition.